Can Being Less Judgmental Improve Your Stress Level?

There is no-one on this planet who doesn’t judge others.

Having judgments is a natural instinct. A coworker may be walking your way and your mind may autopilot into a judgment such as “I can’t believe he got that haircut.”

Judgments come along with our free-flowing thoughts. It takes effort to control them. What we can control is if we voice these judgments.

It’s one thing if we judge others in our mind, but another if you were to say out loud “Wow, I can’t believe your hair, it looked so much better before.”

Now, how can being judgmental potentially cause stress?

Being judgmental is a form of self-criticism which can make us feel uncomfortable, angry, anxious, and less confident in ourselves.

A study in Mindfulness Magazine found that the participants who rated highest on being nonjudgmental had lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress-related symptoms.

 In the study, both acting with awareness and nonjudgmental thinking were the most important facets in predicting psychological well-being. Let’s take a moment to analyze the effects of behaving judgmentally.

What Happens When You Are Judgmental Toward Yourself?

The judgments we place on ourselves are equally as important as the judgments we place on others.

For instance, if you realize you walked down the wrong block you might say in your head, “No idiot, that’s not where you need to go.” Notice this, (you will because you will feel stress and it may even cause some physical discomfort).

Rephrase this to something like, “Okay Jen, this is not a big deal. You’re not an idiot, you just made a mistake.” You will likely feel calmer instantly and be able to think more clearly.

By the way, I’m a fan of speaking in the third person in your mind (it may sound a bit whacky out loud!) It is much more difficult to feel stressed when you are working on being more kind to yourself and others.

When You Are Judgmental Toward Others

People in your life may laugh off your judgments or act as if they don’t affect them. But, I’m willing to bet you won’t be the first person they call when they are having a stressful day and need a friend. When we constantly judge others it pushes them away. If someone is feeling stressed your judgmental behavior is only adding to their stress.

People can see your judgments

Be aware of your body language and facial expressions. Most of what we communicate to others is actually non-verbal. We do not need to say a thing to convey the message to someone that they are being judged. All they need to see is an eyebrow raise, a snarky smile or an eye roll to know they are being judged. So be aware of what your body is telling others.

You are not special, Judger!

There are some people out there who are from the school of thought, “I say it like it is, it is just who I am.” I call b*llsh*t! No-one should go around saying whatever comes to mind, regardless of how hurtful, unless they are a child. In that case, it is just downright hilarious.

As adults, we know better. We’ve had plenty of time to learn the “Do unto others…” You do not get special privileges just because keeping your judgments in your head may be a little harder for you.

Sure enough, people will like you less. If you ever wonder why other people seem to like your best friend more than you and you don’t get why maybe your judgmental and it makes others uncomfortable.

The Judgmental Bug

Being judgmental is contagious. If this is how you are behaving, others around you will follow suit to some degree.

So you are out with your friends and the overall tone of the night may be scanning the room to make fun of others or talk about a friend who isn’t there. Does that really make you a better you in the end? Will you end your night feeling relaxed and good about yourself?

Don’t judge your judging

The best thing you can do for yourself is to be mindful of your judgments. This means trying to be more aware of these thoughts when they occur.

If you realize you are in fact a particularly judgmental person, the habit will be harder to break, that’s okay.

Once this natural instinct occurs, simply notice it, rephrase the judgmental thought into one that is more positive, and move on with your life.

Also, be sure to give yourself some praise for actually noticing this.

Curb your judgments and you will find that your facial expressions feel much lighter, people around you may be inclined to judge less and you will be inclined to be kinder to yourself. All of these things contribute to less stress. Most of all, keep in mind being judgmental is only a part of who you are.

Try not to confuse being judgmental with being a bad person because we all have judgments.

Perhaps the best part is that when we are less judgmental toward ourselves, we will naturally become less judgmental toward others.

This will likely cause others to want to be around you more. See for yourself. Practice being less judgmental and let me know how the affects your stress level. Work on judging yourself and others less and feel less stressed every day!