Letting Go Of Regret After Losing A Loved One

We aren’t getting any younger. We are at an age where we have begun losing the most important people to us. Some have been lucky not have lost anyone, yet some have lost too much too soon.

This is really difficult and can often come with sadness, anger and regret. Regret for things we could have done. Things we should have said. The reality we create for ourselves when someone is gone is very painful.

Sure, some of this regret may have a basis in reality. But, maybe the reason we feel so much regret is because of how much we loved them. If they weren’t so good to us and didn’t change our lives drastically for the better, maybe we wouldn’t care?

As I said, maybe you have a reason to feel regretful. Maybe you weren’t around enough before they died. Maybe you said something you shouldn’t have and couldn’t make amends because it was too late.

Whatever the reason for regret, you have to ask yourself one question, would they want you to feel this way? Regret can be one of the most painful emotions. It can make you feel like you’re gasping for air with actual pain in your heart. It is a helpless feeling because they are gone and it feels like there is nothing we can do to make it right.  Regret can even be unhealthy if it becomes a preoccupation.

The Grief and Recovery Method explains, “research has shown that regrets and the continual time spent on reliving these painful feelings of regret can have an enormous negative physical and emotional impact on people.  Such feelings can resort in chronic stress, hormonal and immune system issues, and even cause problems with an individual’s mental health.”

  Let Go

The best thing you can do is two simple words, let go.

To let go is a process and certainly easier said than done. But, if this person is worth so much pain and regret, my guess is they would never want you to feel this way. My guess is that there are plenty of other memories you can be fixing your attention on that were happy and meant the world to you.

Embracing these memories will be healing. They will help you move forward and feel at peace with the person you loved so dearly.

Can you think of one reason why holding on to regret is productive? Will it right your wrong? Will you by some Devine gift from the heavens be able to do the right thing for your loved one?

The practical answer is no, yet practicality and raw emotion don’t always play nice together. However, forgiving yourself and allowing yourself to honor the memory of your loved one is the greatest gift you can give them.

Ask yourself if they would want you too feel this way or if they’d prefer to have your heart warmed by special memories they hoped they created for you.

Let go and release yourself from the burden of regret. We are at an age where people we love will start to leave us. The greatest gift you can give those that are still a part of your life is to simply try your best to be calm around them, ask how they’re doing, spend time with them that makes you feel something positive.

Be completely present when you are with them and let them know what they mean to you. Put your guard down and said what you feel before it is too late. This way you will have fewer regrets and more you can hold on to and cherish.

Cry it out, talk it out, get angry if you need to. Whatever it takes to let go, and move forward so you can truly honor their memory by enjoying it and reminiscing in the gift of unconditional love they gave you.