8 Ways To Make Dating More Enjoyable With Anxiety

Whether you’re prone to anxiety or not, dating can be stressful. Meeting new people and having to “tell your story,” so to speak, can make a person feel vulnerable. Maybe if you made dating more enjoyable with anxiety, you wouldn’t avoid it or feel badly about it?

Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or spending time trying to get to know someone, it can feel like a lot of pressure. When dating becomes difficult or tiresome, you may give up or settle for someone you are not compatible with. 

Understand this, you do not have to settle just because you have anxiety! 

It may feel easier to put an end to the prospect of continually dating. However, it’s within your right to put the time in to meet new people, and eventually your best friend for life.

Here are 8 Ways To Make Dating Enjoyable When You Have Anxiety  

1. Be Happy With Yourself Before Dating 

A common mistake is to assume once you find the “right person” you will finally be at peace. As cliche as it sounds, you can’t truly be happy with someone else unless you are happy with yourself. 

You don’t have to feel like you’ve got it all together, because who does? But, if you deal with your stress head-on before you look for a partner, you will have a fighting chance to make dating enjoyable. 

With the knowledge that you worked hard and looked for ways to relieve your stress, you’ll feel more confident. 

Anxiety is treatable and it often takes awareness and practice to learn how to cope with negative thoughts that come along with anxiety. 

 If dating is difficult for you, remember that with practice, focusing on challenging your negative thoughts will help you control the pressure you may put on yourself to perform on a date.

Ways to Manage Anxiety

 -Talk to a therapist 

-Utilize Self-help tools 

-Engage in regular relaxation exercises 

-Exercise routinely 

2. Accept The Fear Of The Unknown To Make Dating Enjoyable

Anything new tends to elicit a feeling of anxiety. Keep this in mind when you are dating someone new and be patient with yourself.  

Remind yourself of the times that you felt anxious dating someone new and, with time, you felt more at ease on each date. 

Dating should be fun, and sometimes it can feel like all business when your end goal is to find a life partner. 

Don’t forget to loosen up a bit, and remember you are supposed to have a good time! 

The more you treat the date like a serious interview in which you are looking to “check all of your boxes,” the more uncomfortable it can get. 

Accept that each new person is unchartered territory and this is okay. Each first date with someone new or someone you’re getting to know can be viewed as a unique opportunity to feel together in this experience. 

If you choose to view the date as a shared experience, then the fear of the unknown becomes less scary and perhaps more exciting. 

3. Should You Tell Someone You Are Dating That You Have Anxiety? 

Tread Lightly 

Anxiety tends to convince us to talk about “the monster in the room.” You’re more likely to divulge your feelings of stress and inadequacy when it feels ever-present. This is so not sexy. 

When you’re someone with chronic stress, it can be difficult to know how much to share with someone and what to keep to yourself.

Anxiety can feel so strong that you may feel like it’s written all over your face, but in the end, it’s what you make it.

Divulging that you’re prone to anxiety is something best done when you feel like you trust a person. 

Once you get the sense that enough time and connection has been established with each other, then consider discussing your anxiety. 

Why? Because your stress or anxiety doesn’t have to define you. If you come out with this right away, it may seem like you’re revealing something major that defines you.

The more you present your anxiety to the world as a “tell-all” the more intense it can become.

If you wait until you feel they are an understanding person who knows more about what defines you, you set yourself up for less judgment. This is because they’ve gotten to know other components of what makes you, you.

4. Take Control Of The Date

As previously stated, anxiety can make you feel more afraid of the unknown. 

Instead of succumbing to this, take the wheel. 

Take it upon yourself to decide what to do for your date. Lightening the mood by doing something fun and playful is more likely to ensure you relax during your date. 

Ideally, choosing a date night where you plan something you are interested in, such as mini-golf, going to a casual atmosphere like a park where you sip coffee on a bench, hiking, etc. 

Plan a date that allows your true self to show. This way, you will feel like you can get to know your date and express who you are with less pressure. 

Check out this post of 100 Date Night Ideas. There’s sure to be a handful that excite you!

You’ll have a much less stressful and fun experience.

5. Treat Them Like A Friend

If uttering the statement “I have a date” makes you want to eat the entire refrigerator, steer clear of this!

To all my The Office fans, if knowing you’re going on a date turns you into “date Mike,” avoid labeling the date as, well, a date. 

Consider how you would behave and present yourself if you were meeting a new friend. Embody this more relaxed side of yourself so dating pressure doesn’t get the best of you. 

Labeling the experience of dating differently can change the way you “show up” to the date. 

Consider how you present yourself to a friend who makes you feel comfortable. Allow this person to shine through and your date will see a more genuine version of who you are. 

Don’t turn into “Date Mike!”   https://theoffice.fandom.com/wiki/Date_Mike

6. Latch On To The Positive Moments

If your default is to worry about all that could possibly go wrong when dating someone, it is essential to take hold of what is working well. 

Look for clear evidence of moments where you feel a connection. This may be a moment in which you made each other laugh or smile. If you latch on to one awkward moment, you may find yourself having trouble moving forward. 

Instead, if you let that moment pass and highlight positive moments, such as a laugh you shared or something you realized you have in common, you are more likely to stay calm and collected. 

7. Assume They Are Nervous

Anxiety can make you judge yourself more harshly. Therefore, you assume others are judging you harshly too. 

Anxiety makes us hyper-vigilant about most experiences, especially dating. Imagine that they are just as nervous as you are. Doing so will help you feel less inadequate and make dating enjoyable. 

Chances are, you are on a first date, and this person is feeling, at the very least, minimal discomfort as well. 

Capitalize on this bet and take the lead by adding humor into the moment any way you can. 

Showing your playful side could alleviate both of your worries and make the moment feel less stuffy. 

8. Date Mindfully

Anxiety can make you feel like you need to hyper-focus on every word exchanged. 

But, remember, this is your interpretation of the moment. This is not necessarily what is actually happening.

If you focus on being mindful, then you are focusing on the present moment and leaving less room for a wandering mind to allow worst-case scenario thoughts to creep in. 

Leave the past in the past and the future for tomorrow. Focus on your five senses to keep you engaged in the moment. 

Focus on grounding yourself in the present moment. You should put aside these worries, because they will take you away from an opportunity to connect with someone.

The most effective way to stay out of your head and avoid worrying thoughts is to listen intently to everything your date is saying. Make consistent eye contact so you stay engaged and present. 

The Takeaway

Anxiety does not have to stop you from meeting new people and looking for “your person.” 

As you learn to use different tools and support systems, remember that dating gets easier with practice. 

Remember that you deserve to be happy!

Please share your tips to make dating more enjoyable when you have anxiety in the comments section below.