When you’re human, you deal with some level of stress. Stress management techniques are often not taught in our everyday lives. They weren’t added to a school curriculum growing up or implemented into the work day. Stress can come from various situations in your life. 

Your job may cause you stress, you may have relationship issues, or deal with family problems such as health issues or an unhealthy relationship with your family.

Whatever the case, finding a way to give yourself stress relief fast is so important. Using skills help you feel empowered and in control. 

Stress can be tolerated and beat with these instant stress relief mind hacks, because finding stress relief doesn’t have to take years of soul searching.

What Happens Mentally and Physically During Stress?

There are many emotional, physical, and behavioral aspects to an acute state of stress. If not controlled in a timely manner, symptoms can occur such as:

• Chest palpitations
• Chronic irritability due to feeling out of control
• Difficulty breathing
• Indecisiveness
• Shakiness and sweating
• Inability to concentrate when needed
• Physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, fatigue, and sleep problems 

These are some of the typical symptoms that people face when they are experiencing acute stress. 

Mind Hacks to Fight Stress

The best way to fight ongoing symptoms of stress that affect your mind and body are to learn useful mental health hacks. We are often told to exercise to reduce stress. While exercise is vital to your overall health and wellness, paying attention to your mind, and how it is the root cause of your stress, is so often overlooked. 

Basically, you can train your mind into thinking everything is going to okay and bring its attention to something else. 

Whether it is distraction behaviors, or relaxation exercises, you can yield the power of mental jujitsu!

This is how I term gradually mastering how to control your stress through the use of strategic skills or mind hacks. 

In this fast paced world, it’s important to know how to beat stress so it doesn’t beat you. 

After all, we are the one’s in charge of our mindset, and it can be hacked easier than you realize. This is the basic principle behind the mind hacks used to counter acute stress effects. 

What Are 5 Ways To Fight Stress?

1. Intentional Journaling 

Think of the times your worry thoughts were running through your mind, causing you to spiral and feel out of control. You couldn’t find a better way to process them and they felt like they beat you, and they continue to beat you. Writing is a powerful tool for processing our inner thoughts and feelings regarding a stressful situation. When we don’t know how to process a situation that happens all of a sudden, our main goal should be finding a way that helps you name and interpret how you feel.

Instead of bottling up your emotions and thoughts, it is best to let them flow in a safe way. Journaling is, therefore, an important tool for this.

Not only can you process your emotions and let them flow as they come, but you also develop an improved sense of awareness about yourself. When you learn what your triggers are, you can begin to see certain patterns the make you tick surfacing through your writing.

Keep a journal as a safe space to air your stressful thoughts. It can be a place where you don’t have to worry about how you sound, how your thoughts may affect others, and allow yourself to simply be who you are.  

2. Guided Imagery 

Do you ever feel stressed and start to fantasize about being somewhere else? Especially, escaping somewhere peaceful such as a beach or for a hike through a rain forest?

Guided Imagery is a powerful meditation that helps your mind to declutter itself from racing thoughts caused by stress through the use of a peaceful image. You can either concur up an image of a beach, for example, or guide yourself into relaxation through guided imagery meditations people have thoughtfully put their time and effort into already. 

I love to go to YouTube and type in guided imagery. Choose a video based on how much time you have and what image looks the most inviting. It’s the most easy and efficient way to access tons of videos created for your pleasure.

You will see that as you do it, your brain shifts its focus from the acute stressful condition towards drawing that image in your brain.

This is a powerful method to move your attention away from troubling thoughts in times of stress and transport you to another place.

For best results, it is important you keep trying this meditation often. This way, it is engrained in your mind and easily accessible through memory. I watched a guided meditation before getting an MRI and it helped me escape to the beach in my mind and forget where I was so I could remain more still and calm.

3. Socialization 

When you are going through periods of acute stress, there is one thing that can aggravate your situation the most: Staying isolated. It is true because, as humans, we often bring a lot of focus on ourselves. In times of stress and isolation, we tend to magnify our problems and get into a vicious cycle of overthinking, which is difficult to break. It is best to divert our attention in these times. Socializing with other people helps to shift our focus from ourselves to others. 

There are two aspects of socialization: You get the emotional support you need by sharing and seeking help. If that is not the case, at least you take the spotlight off of yourself and bring it to other people. Instead of becoming centered on yourself, you play a positive role in thinking about other people’s problems. 

4. Taking Self Care Breaks

Your mental health matters in times of acute stress, and when you take care of yourself during these times, you are doing yourself and others a favor. Furthermore, when you implement self-care practices into your life on a routine basis, you have a better chance at maintaining a lower stress level, as opposed to using self-care practices only in times of stress.

Self-care practices are physical, emotional, and mental activities aimed at focusing on you. Some self-care practices include Exercising, eating a balanced diet, taking care of your physical appearance, saying no, journaling, being kind to yourself and others, meditation, engaging in a satisfying hobby, learning a new skill, socializing, etc. 

 Be ready to take pauses – don’t get too indulged in situations when you find yourself not having the emotional capacity to tackle them. By taking self-care breaks, you are protecting yourself from burnout and maintaining a calmer sense of self on a daily basis. 

5. Finding Humor

Whenever a stressful condition occurs, you don’t have to become stuck in a negative headspace. Overthinking and negative emotions can easily prevail in tough times, which will make you think worse of every situation.

To save yourself from this negative cycle, it is best to think of something productive or funny. Finding humor during tough times helps you to gain some resilience and insight into the situation. It also helps your mind to think differently from the perspectives that don’t go in your favor. 

For example, if you are late from a business meeting and you find yourself getting stressed, instead of thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen, allow your mind to focus on things that give you an instant giggle. You could think of something hilarious your kids or animal did. You could think about a funny show you watched, or a joke someone told you. 

The Takeaway

Dealing with acute stress doesn’t have to be difficult at all. Beat stress for good by using these mind hacks whenever stress arises for you. 

After all, you are the only person who is in control of what you do next after stress occurs. 

You can feel powerless to it time and time again, or you can recognize stress as a symptom of being human and take control with these mental health hacks. The choice is yours!

Chronic stress can make a person do things that do not make them proud. From self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, overeating, relationship issues, or poor sleep, stress can rule your entire world. This is why challenging stress is so important for your overall wellbeing.

Reducing chronic stress can provide a sense of calm and mental clarity, good health, and overall happiness.

So, how can chronic stress be confronted and decreased?

1. Focus On Relaxation Every Day 

Unlike doing a load of laundry or food prepping for the week, challenging stress should occur every day. 

Stress reduction as a lifestyle is the name of the game, and trust me, you want to win.

Stress causes mental fog and a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that can even lead to depression. I always tell clients the best “baseline skill” to start with is diaphragmatic breathing.

Focus on your breathing, slow it down, and breathe strategically (yup, that’s a thing). It’s only then that you can focus on overcoming issues you currently face.

Your stress is so real that you tell yourself, there’s no way out of how you feel.

In other words, your emotional response takes away your sense of control. We often think, feel, and act and feel this is an automatic way of thinking that cannot be changed. 

Seemingly, there is no other way, but with strategic relaxation exercises, stress relief is well within reach. Challenging stress is a simply matter of having the right tools.

Whether it’s through regularly implementing relaxation exercises into your routine or practicing challenging negative self-talk (hopefully it’s both), you need to focus only on relaxing to move forward and tackle your problems.

2. Rename Stress

Say the word stress out loud or in your head. I bet you feel a little stressed right now! It’s an ugly word, full of discomfort and a lack of control. 

Challenging Stress

3. Accept Your Stress

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), people aged 18-33 years old suffer the highest levels of stress in the nation.

 It sounds strange to allow stress into your life, because by now you’re sick of it and it’s annoying AF.

However, the more you analyze, judge, or become frustrated with your stress, the more stressed you will be. 

Try your best to normalize your stress and understand that this affliction affects so many others. Maybe then, you can learn to give yourself a break. 

It’s kind of like the whole separate but together slogan to increase the feeling of solidarity due to the coronavirus. 

There are many people out there just like you. 

So, don’t try to hide your stress. Unfortunately, it’s likely pretty obvious to others. 

Share your discomfort with those closest to you who you do not feel judged by.

When stress is affecting your social and occupational function, be sure to talk with a therapist.

The more you try to avoid it the more it knocks louder on your front door, demanding your attention. 

Accepting stress as a part of your life is a way of challenging stress. This is because you’re not trying to push it away; which becomes exhausting. Your owning it and therefore giving it less power.

4. Take A Moment to Analyze Your Thoughts 

As people, we often engage in automatic thinking. Meaning, we don’t think about our thinking, we simply think automatically.

 In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article summarizing research on human thoughts per day. According to this study, the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. 

When you think about this, it sounds maddening!

They concluded that 97% of our worries, is not based in fact, but rather they are simply things we worry may happen or have happened. 

Many people subscribe to “overthinking.” In the case of what I’m suggesting, this is a good thing. 

The real work is when you practice being mindful of what kind of thoughts you’re having. Be it angry, anxious, scared, jealous etc. If you can name your negative thoughts then you can put them under a microscope and challenge them.

I always say to my clients, if you can allow your mind to conjure up the worst-case scenario that hasn’t actually happened, doesn’t it make sense to leave room to challenge your thoughts with a positive potential outcome too?

It’s no surprise, the more time you spend worrying, the more stress you experience. 

I’m not going to lie to you, it hurts your brain at times to stop and “think about your thinking.” However, the more you put in the work now, you increase the likelihood of changing your negative automatic thinking into positive thinking.

If you can’t do this entirely (which is nearly impossible), you will have at least decreased the amount of time you spend thinking negatively, feeling lousy, and behaving in ways in which you’re not proud of as a result.

This leaves more room for concentration, focus, and a sense of control. All of these elements are crucial for mental health stability.

Consider these affirmations to silence automatic stressful thoughts when you notice them:

“I will not think about the worst thing that could happen. Instead, I’ll allow myself to focus on the best thing that could happen.”

If you’re naturally prone to spending most of your time in your head, shouldn’t you work on making it a more peaceful place to spend your time? 

5. Consider What’s Missing In Your Life

Stress could be an indication that something needs to be changed in your life.

Maybe you’re missing a partner to share life with, missing out on your career potential because you’re stuck in a dead-end job, or missing having a passion for someone or something that you can call your own, creating a sense of pride. 

Stress can be a sign that you are not meeting an important emotional or physical need.

But, emotional needs can be harder to take hold of than physical needs. It can be more challenging to realize we lack the feeling of connected to someone than food, for instance.

So what might stress be causing for you?

What do you need more of in your life?

What’s missing that is causing a feeling of incompletion and causing an ever-present “… “ feeling for you?

Take some time to sit and consider things that make people feel whole. Consistent food, clothing, shelter, financial security, love, a sense of community, a hobby, a skill, a mindset you’re looking for?

Go on a journey of self-discovery and find what’s missing. Grab a piece of paper and see what thoughts you write on the page.

Make life more exciting by searching for what must be found to make you feel whole. 

Takeaway

The more we choose to label our stress as challenges, we can step over a puddle, rather than feeling we’re swimming an entire ocean. 

What do you do to challenge stress and find inner peace? I’d love to hear your strategies for challenging stress in the comments below.

Stuck at home? First off, I want to thank you so much for being a good person and doing the right thing. You deserve a reward and to broaden your horizons.

The coronavirus has forced us all inside and out of contact with the outside world. The lives we had before will be disrupted for an unknown period. This, therefore, takes the element of control out of our lives. When we are not in control of our lives, stress is inevitable.

The important think to remember is that it is an inconvenience, but you are safe and considering the safety others . You don’t have to settle for watching hours upon hours of mindless TV (though this can be a great escape, it grows tiring).

Here are other ways in which you can enrich your life while staying at home. Don’t be afraid to learn something out of your comfort zone. During these challenging times, there is opportunity. The opportunity to do something new you always wished you had time for; and now you do.

There is a lot on our minds right now, so distraction is key. Here are some great resources for you to consider while while being a social distancing rockstar. 

Apps

Well, we will focus on t.v. for this one suggestion. If you have children, you are likely having a tough time right now keeping them occupied.  Amazon has made a library of kids’ TV shows free for all users. These shows are usually reserved for Amazon Prime customers, but now anyone can watch right now.

The Headspace meditation app has a meditation toolkit anyone can currently access for free. It includes meditations, sleep, and movement exercises.

The Calm App: This app is usually $5.83 per month, but you can get a free trial to try it and see if you like it. It has meditation, exercises for getting better sleep and masterclasses about different mindfulness related topics.

Courses

Mind Valley  offers a free curriculum that is designed to unleash the full potential of your mind, body, and spirit. Best selling authors, teachers and activists teach about life experience, the quality of of relationships, health, mindset and well being.

Here are 450 Ivy League courses you can take online right now for free. These courses come from 8 Ivy League schools and include courses in mathematics, personal development, Art & Design and Social Sciences, to name a few. My favorite is a course on learning how to communicate more effectively at work from the University of Pennsylvania.

Coursera includes wellness courses such as understanding mindfulness and understanding the science of happiness available for free.

Get Your Body Moving

Pop Sugar Active is giving away free workouts. The new Active by POPSUGAR app, a paid monthly subscription providing hundreds of do-anywhere workouts, set to launch in the next few weeks, is officially launching right now for free. They offer categories of strength, cardio, yoga, and Pilates, and challenges such as 4-Week Full-Body Fusion.

Start following some fitness YouTube accounts for working out at home. You don’t need any equipment. YouTube cardio and yoga videos have been a life saver for me!

Get The Kids Moving:

Subscribe to Cosmic Kids Yoga: Yoga, mindfulness and relaxation designed specially for kids aged 3+, used in schools and homes all over the world. My son is under 3, but he loved it and so did my daughter who is soon to be 1 1/2. It’s really cute to watch them try the moves and there are different yoga video themes like Frozen and Trolls!

Educational Resources, Because The Kids Are Still Driving You Crazy

Scholastic Learn at Home

PBS Kids

Age of Learning

Mystery Science

More Mental Health Resources

DBT Diary Card and Skills Coach

A free guide to learning how to meditate by meditationexpert.com.

Check out these relaxation techniques used in CBT to relief stress. Among other things, you”ll discover the best way to breath to relieve stress.

My Stress Less Fast Guide can be found here.

Here are 5 ways to get a better sleep when faced with stress.

My guide to Relieving Stress Naturally can be found here.

25 Quotes To Help You Stress Less are definitely useful; now more than ever.

Positive Intentions and Affirmations to tell yourself during the coronavirus pandemic will prove very useful right now as this situation painfully unfolds.

My top 5 favorite mental health podcasts are sure to relieve some tensions. Podcasts are amazing because you can listen to them anywhere, there is a podcast for just about anything and they are free. If you’d like to venture outside of the mental health topic, a great podcast search engine that can help you narrow down your focus is Listen Notes. It makes it easy to browse by topic or search by keyword.

Stress Relief Games A great collection of hand-picked games to help you stress less.

Don’t forget to check out my stress management resources page, offering great tools and organizations that can help you relieve stress.

Crisis Support Resources For All

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1- 800-799-7233
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Hopeline Network: 1-800-SUICIDE (800-784-2433)
Crisis Text Line: Text “DESERVE” TO 741-741
Lifeline Crisis Chat (Online live messaging): https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)
Planned Parenthood Hotline: 1-800-230-PLAN (7526) 
American Association of Poison Control Centers: 1-800-222-1222
National Council on Alcoholism & Drug Dependency Hope Line: 1-800-622-2255

National Crisis Line – Anorexia and Bulimia: 1-800-233-4357
GLBT Hotline: 1-888-843-4564
TREVOR Crisis Hotline: 1-866-488-7386
AIDS Crisis Line: 1-800-221-7044

For My Fellow New Yorkers: NY’s virus case count is doubling every 3 days. NYC Well is your connection to free, confidential mental health support. Speak to a counselor via phone, text, or chat and get access to mental health and substance use services, in more than 200 languages, 24/7/365.

If you are from Long Island, The Long Island Crisis Center is an excellent resource for crisis management. Learn more here.

I hope you find this list of resources helpful. Please feel free to add any suggestions for free resources you’ve found along the way. Stay safe!

“Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace”

Stress is not something we plan for or welcome into our lives with open arms. Life is unexpected that way, and stress can hit us at anytime. Sometimes it feels like it’s building and there’s no way to control it. 

With practice, stressful thoughts can be challenged to help you see the positive side of things. You can learn to notice your physical and mental reaction to stress and beat it before it gets worse.   

When it feels like stress is getting the best of you and you can’t find your peaceful place, read through 25 quotes to help you stress less and find some inspiration. 

1. “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” -William James **(My favorite)

2.“Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.” — John Lennon

3. “It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.” -Hans Selye

4. “Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace.” -Kimberly Jones

5. “Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action.”  – Walter Anderson

6. “You don’t have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” -Dan Millman

7. “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.”  – Robin Williams

8. “Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.” – Astrid Alauda

9. “More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.” -Roy T. Bennett

10. “One small positive thought in the morning can change your whole day.”  -Joubert Botha

11. “When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives.” — Kristin Neff

12. “Life isn’t as serious as the mind makes it out to be.” –Eckhart Tolle

13. “Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax.” –Mark Black

14. “Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” —Maya Angelou

15. ”If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sun beams and you will always look lovely” — Roald Dahl

16. “If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.”    -Amit Ray           

17. ”It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” – Lou Holtz

18. ”Don’t believe every worried thought you have. Worried thoughts are notoriously inaccurate.” – Renee Jain

19. ”Instead of wondering WHY this is happening to you, consider why this is happening to YOU.” – Dalai Lama

20. ”Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”- Jim Rohn

21. ”Happiness cannot be travel to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.”- Denis Waitley 

22. Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.” -J.J. Marine

23. “Failure is part of the process of success. People who avoid failure also avoid success.” ― Robert T. Kiyosaki

24. “I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.”– Mahatma Gandhi

25. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Bernard M. Maruch

These quotes are carefully picked and special to me. Please share some quotes you find stress relieving and inspirational.

Food, Family and Finances. When listed in this manner, they are just words. Let me explain why family, food and finances are so important for a healthy, well-balanced life.

1. Family For A Healthy, Well-balanced Life

Quite simply put, we are nothing without someone to love. Have you ever seen the movie “Into The Wild?” “Happiness is only real when shared.”

He goes on this epic journey to find himself only to discover that he did it all alone and will die alone (hope I didn’t spoil it for you). 

Whether you love or hate your family, they have an impact on your life. Much of your emotional energy is being used up by family matters.

So please, take into consideration if they are your punching bag and deserve better.

Sometimes people treat their family like a nuisance or blame them for problems in their life. Consider if this behavior is emotional baggage weighing you down.

You can not control other people’s actions, only your own. That being said, don’t forget to enjoy your family despite how much they may drive you crazy. Especially if they love you unconditionally.

They will be gone one day and regret is a painful emotion. Take a step back and ask someone that you know how they have patience and enjoyment for their family. Take their advice and try to see your family from a new, more positive lense.

It may help to imagine a family member you want to treat better, such as your mother, as a friend you respect. My guess is you are more patient with them than your mother. Keep in mind how you behave with this friend. Try your best to practice showing your mother this side of yourself. 

On the flip side, maybe you give too much of your time to your family? Could you benefit from more time taking care of yourself? Sometimes depending on your culture and/or birth order it’s not uncommon to take on all of the family burdens.

You are one person. Taking care of yourself is taking care of your family. You are not able to help them if your mental or physical health decline. You won’t do your family any good if you run yourself ragged or become resentful of them.

Take time for self-care. If they ask too much of you, patiently explain this and try to be as a judgment-free as possible.

Express how it is making you feel and if it is negatively affecting you in any way such as leaving little time for you to relax or try new things.

The response may not be what you want, but most often people don’t respond ideally when they feel uncomfortable.

 If they love you, patiently wait and they will have heard what you said. You can accentuate your love for them and their importance in your explanation while staying committed to breaking the news that you need more “me time.” 

Set Boundaries

If your family is too invasive of your privacy, use direct language such as, “I don’t feel comfortable disclosing how much debt I am in.” Say exactly what you mean, especially if a family member makes you feel judged.

Finally, don’t tell them everything. If you often feel judged, angry or sad after revealing things about yourself to your family that isn’t all pleasant, then don’t. Why punish yourself time and time again?

Setting boundaries with family can be vital for your self-care and stress level. It doesn’t help them or you if you disclose things they don’t agree with. By only sharing what’s necessary, you leave more time for being present with others and more time to be there for them. 

2. Finances For A Healthy, Well-balanced Life 

Let’s face it unless you want to go “off the grid,” you need money to live your life. Some feel they need more than others. If you keep buying possessions, convincing yourself it will make your life better, good luck. As stated above “happiness is only real when shared.”

The latest iPhone won’t keep you warm at night. As I’ve discussed in—-add your finance post——stay within your means and try not to fool yourself into thinking buying things will solve your problems. Sometimes it makes them much worse.

The better you set yourself up financially today, the better off you’ll be in the future when you’ve aged and working isn’t an option.

Life is unpredictable. Preparing now alleviates the stress you may feel due to putting off any preparation for securing your financial future. Starting now can help “soften the blow” if there are any financial hardships such as job loss, personal life changes or medical issues.

According to a survey done by the investment app Acorns, about half of millennials surveyed (out of 1,020) felt like they were “treading water” financially and would experience trouble if they missed a paycheck. 

Create A Budget

Creating a budget is a critical step to getting your finances in order.

You can’t just hope that you’ll suddenly acquire the desire to spend less. You need to see what you’re spending on essentials and what is discretionary spending or “wants” instead of “needs.” 

Create a spreadsheet. (I recommend google sheets where you can share it with someone if you need to. 

Write down all your fixed monthly expenses such as your car payment, mortgage, phone bill, etc.

Next, write down your other “non-fixed” expenses such as meals out, entertainment, clothing, and other discretionary purchases.

Writing it down and seeing it helps you to understand where your money is going—and where you can cut back. Once you’ve made a budget, you have to stick to it. 

Every time you buy something, write down the amount and what you bought. Compare your actual spending to your budget to see where you’re getting off track. Check out this yearly budget calculator.  It’s a lifesaver because all the work is done for you. All you have to do is add your expenses and delete any irrelevant categories.

Only Spend Money You Have

 As I’ve previously stated in this blog, make a lifestyle out of only spending money that you have. Use cash or debit cards.

Ideally, use credit cards for all purchases so you can be rewarded with cashback. However, if the temptation is too strong to overspend, only use cash or a debit card. I can’t stress this enough, If you don’t have the cash don’t buy it!  

Student Loan Debt

Pay down your student loan debt. If you took out loans to cover school tuition and costs, you’re certainly not alone. At this point, student loans are a trillion-dollar industry! It’s a common issue that is becoming a unifying financial force for millennials: a common question is “how much do you have left to pay off your student loans?”

The thought of taking your money and throwing most of it at something intangible can be hard for people to commit to, but it’s an important commitment to make. Future old man or old woman you will thank you when your money is yours to keep (let’s hope that’s before old age).

3. Food For A Healthy, Well-balanced Life 

When what we eat and how much we eat is out of balance we are compromised as an optimally functioning person.

Our brain requires a constant supply of fuel. That “fuel” comes from the foods you eat. What you eat directly affects the function of your brain and, ultimately, your mood.

The food we eat can lower depression, increase productivity, eliminate some symptoms of ADHD and so much more.

Multiple studies have found a correlation between a diet high in refined sugars (cereal, pastries, soda, etc) and impaired brain function — and even a worsening of symptoms of mood disorders, such as depression.

Unhealthy Eating Habits

Here’s how some unhealthy eating habits can alter your mood and emotional well-being:

1. Skipping meals can lead to low blood sugar. This will likely leave you feeling weak, tired and even cranky.
2. Cutting out entire food groups. If you reduce the variety of foods in your diet, it can be more difficult to get all the essential nutrients you need. For instance, low levels of zinc, iron, B vitamins, magnesium, vitamin D, and omega-3 fatty acids are associated with a negative mood and decreased energy.
3. Eating too many refined carbohydrates. High intakes of unhealthy, processed carbohydrates, such as white bread and pastries, cause blood sugars to rise and fall rapidly. This can lead to low energy and irritability.

Healthy Eating Habits

Here are some positive changes you can make to your diet to improve your mental health:

1. Stay structured with your eating, eating three main meals and 1-2 healthy snacks a day
2. Choose less refined sugars and eat more whole foods. Some studies indicate a link between a high consumption of sugar with a higher prevalence of ADHD diagnosis.
3. Include protein at each meal
4. Include omega-3 rich foods, like oily fish or walnuts, in your diet
5. Buy food from the perimeter of the grocery store where fresh, whole foods are kept helps to avoid processed foods.
6. Drink plenty of water to keep your skin healthy, clean out toxins and so much more.
7. Exercise regularly by doing activities such as walking, yoga or running.

More Traditional Or “Clean Eating” Diets

More traditional or “clean eating” diets have positive mental health benefits which may include: 

• Healthy fats like the ones found in fish and extra virgin olive oil. These fats are important for our blood vessels and our brain and may have an important anti-inflammatory effect that helps to prevent depression. 
• An increase in omega-3s in your diet can help lead to increased serotonin (serotonin has been called the body’s natural “feel-good” chemical) production and therefore an improvement in your mood. A study published in the British Journal of Psychiatry about omega-3 fatty acids is especially interesting.
• Eat whole grains such as rice and pasta, fermented foods such as sauerkraut or kimchi and adding yogurt to your diet. These fiber-rich foods or fermented foods can promote the growth of good gut bacteria. This may have a positive effect on mental health. 
• Fruit and vegetables. These contain a wealth of important nutrients including antioxidants that help to prevent cell damage and fiber to keep you “going” (if you know what I mean by “going”). A diet high in fruits and vegetables could also prevent cancer, diabetes and heart disease. Have you ever been constipated? Not good for your mood!
• Nuts, seeds, and legumes. These are good sources of plant-based protein, healthy fats, and fiber. This category of food tends to help your mood because your body digests them slowly, which stabilizes blood sugar levels.

Good nutrition is as important to mental health as it is to physical health because one affects the other.

You are less likely to eat three cheeseburgers and then go for a jog, aren’t you?

While fast food or processed food tends to be cheaper than eating healthy foods, you will end up paying for that choice with your health down the road. Make the choice to commit to healthy food for your main meals at least twice a day. 

Food, Family, and Finances

We need them to survive, we need them to thrive. We need them to feel complete.

Check-in with yourself to see if any of these areas are causing you stress. If so, there’s always a solution if you open up your mind, and in the case of family, your heart to see what improvements you can make to less stress every day.

Be honest with yourself and consider which areas need improvement. Seek it out and be patient with yourself, because you deserve it. 

Photo by Hemanth Nirujogi from Pexels

This is really difficult and can often come with sadness, anger and regret. Regret for things we could have done. Things we should have said. The reality we create for ourselves when someone is gone is very painful.

Sure, some of this regret may have a basis in reality. But, maybe the reason we feel so much regret is because of how much we loved them. If they weren’t so good to us and didn’t change our lives drastically for the better, maybe we wouldn’t care?

As I said, maybe you have a reason to feel regretful. Maybe you weren’t around enough before they died. Maybe you said something you shouldn’t have and couldn’t make amends because it was too late.

Whatever the reason for regret, you have to ask yourself one question, would they want you to feel this way? Regret can be one of the most painful emotions. It can make you feel like you’re gasping for air with actual pain in your heart. It is a helpless feeling because they are gone and it feels like there is nothing we can do to make it right.  Regret can even be unhealthy if it becomes a preoccupation.

The Grief and Recovery Method explains, “research has shown that regrets and the continual time spent on reliving these painful feelings of regret can have an enormous negative physical and emotional impact on people.  Such feelings can resort in chronic stress, hormonal and immune system issues, and even cause problems with an individual’s mental health.”

  Let Go

The best thing you can do is two simple words, let go.

To let go is a process and certainly easier said than done. But, if this person is worth so much pain and regret, my guess is they would never want you to feel this way. My guess is that there are plenty of other memories you can be fixing your attention on that were happy and meant the world to you.

Embracing these memories will be healing. They will help you move forward and feel at peace with the person you loved so dearly.

Can you think of one reason why holding on to regret is productive? Will it right your wrong? Will you by some Devine gift from the heavens be able to do the right thing for your loved one?

The practical answer is no, yet practicality and raw emotion don’t always play nice together. However, forgiving yourself and allowing yourself to honor the memory of your loved one is the greatest gift you can give them.

Ask yourself if they would want you too feel this way or if they’d prefer to have your heart warmed by special memories they hoped they created for you.

Let go and release yourself from the burden of regret. We are at an age where people we love will start to leave us. The greatest gift you can give those that are still a part of your life is to simply try your best to be calm around them, ask how they’re doing, spend time with them that makes you feel something positive.

Be completely present when you are with them and let them know what they mean to you. Put your guard down and said what you feel before it is too late. This way you will have fewer regrets and more you can hold on to and cherish.

Cry it out, talk it out, get angry if you need to. Whatever it takes to let go, and move forward so you can truly honor their memory by enjoying it and reminiscing in the gift of unconditional love they gave you.

Stress finds you wherever you go. This is why the relaxation exercises below can be used driving in traffic, before bed, and any other time you have 5 or 10 minutes to apply to calming down. Use your best judgement to fit each exercise into the appropriate situation. You can’t exactly do yoga and drive can you? That would be impressive. These exercises send a message to your body and brain that functions can slow down now.  It can take you out of the “Alarm” stage of stress into a more restful state. Here are some relaxation exercises to try when you’re feeling stressed or you know you are approaching a situation with potential stress. 

Guided Imagery

Guided imagery is a cognitive-behavioral technique in which a person is guided in imagining a relaxing scene by the use of pictures, sounds, smells, and other sensations. It helps a person learn to relax and go their “happy place” in their mind due to their practice. Guided imagery can be practiced at home or with a therapist. Typically your imagination will be guided to a place where you feel relaxed and safe. Here is a prime example of a guided imagery exercise in motion.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

This is by far my favorite relaxation exercise. It can be practiced anywhere and it allows you to feel the difference between your muscles when they’re tense or relaxed. This is great to practice before bed when our minds are flooded the most with stressors. It helps your body melt into the bed!

1. Face. Focus attention on your face. Squeeze all of the muscles in your face, holding for 10 seconds. Then, slowly release the tension in your face while counting for 10 seconds. Notice the difference in how your muscles feel and the sensation of relaxation. Continue Breathe slowly and evenly throughout out this exercise.
2. Neck and Shoulders. Now, shift attention to your neck and shoulders. Raise your shoulders up towards your ears and hold for 10 seconds. Slowly release the tension as you count for 10 seconds.
3. Stomach. Tense your stomach muscle by leaning forward and squeezing for ten seconds. Slowly lean back and release the tension as you count for 10 seconds.j
4. Arms and Hands. Slowly draw both hands into fists. Hold your arms out straight and hold for 10 seconds squeezing your fists as tight as you can. Then, slowly release while you count for 10 seconds. Notice the feeling of relaxation.
5. Booty. Slowly increase tension in your booty by squeezing for 10 seconds. Then, slowly release the tension for 10 seconds. Continue to breathe slowly and evenly.
6. Legs and feet. Slowly, stick your legs straight out and point your feet upwards. Squeeze the muscles as hard as you can for 10 seconds. Then, gently release the tension for 10 seconds. Notice the tension melting away and the feeling of relaxation that is left.

Diaphramic Breathing 

Diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing is a type of a breathing exercise that helps strengthen your diaphragm, an important muscle that helps you breathe. Find out how to breathe from your belly rather than your chest here.

Yoga

Yoga is another relaxation exercise that when done enough is ingrained in your memory and you can do the steps anywhere. Practicing the postures, breathing exercises and meditation makes you healthier mentally and physically. yogajournal.com provides “8 Yoga Poses for Stress Relief.” If you don’t have yoga blocks don’t worry about it. I don’t use them either and the poses are still effective. You can also check out yoga for stress relief in motion on youtube.com. I do most of my exercising along with videos on youtube.com because you get a ton of variety and it is free!

Mindful Meditation

This is the hottest relaxation technique in mental health right now. It is even recognized in school and corporate settings as a proven modality to beat stress, depression and even physical discomfort. This practice involves sitting comfortably, focusing on your breathing, and bringing your mind’s attention to the present moment without focusing on the past or the future. I particularly like to practice being mindful (aka just focusing on the present moment) when my mind trying to focus on something that happened in the past that is out of my control or that hasn’t happened yet, therefore having no bearing on the present moment. You can be mindful anywhere and for as long as you can. Even five minutes helps.Don’t become discouraged if thoughts flood in while your practicing. Just take a deep breath, be patient with yourself, and keep refocusing on the present moment.

Wild Card

You know yourself best. Maybe the way you decompress is simply by reading a book, going for a walk, taking a bath or venting about it to a friend. Stick with what you do best to alleviate stress and use the strategies above for added support. If one relaxation technique doesn’t work for you, try another technique. If none of your efforts at reducing stress seems to work, you may need some outside more regular assistance to deal with your persistent stress. There you have it. At least one of these exercises can be your “go to” for stress relief when you just can’t seem to escape your worries. Enjoy! Feel free to post any relaxation exercises that work for you during periods of stress. 

There is a solid connection between a dirty or disorganized home and stress. For instance, A 2010 study published in the scientific journal Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin used linguistic analysis software to measure the way 60 individuals discussed their homes. Researchers found that women with cluttered homes expressed higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol. It’s no surprise a clean home creates a sense of calm.

If you’re someone who can relate to the connection between cleanliness and feeling calmer check out these 10 Cleaning Tips for Millennials from HGTV.

I particularly love the tip about cleaning with vinegar. It’s cheap, safe to clean with, especially around animals and children, and it kills bacteria like a champ.

The tip on airing out the windows is not only helpful to prevent black mold. If you’re someone who is inside a lot, it is really important to feel the fresh air outside, whether it is cold or not. Feel the breeze on your skin to invigorate your senses.

Additionally, opening your windows also encourages you to open the blinds or curtains, letting the sun in. Feeling the sun on your face is almost always an immediate mood booster.

Take the stress out of cleaning by breaking it down room to room  

There are things you can clean daily, weekly, or monthly so that cleaning and organizing feels more manageable.

Lifestorage.com has really helpful daily, weekly and monthly home cleaning checklists for each room in your home. Check it out here: What You Need to Clean Daily, Weekly, and Monthly + Cleaning Checklist

“Literal cleanliness and orderliness can release us from abstract cognitive and affective distress – just consider how, during moments where life seems to be spiraling out of control, it can be calming to organize your clothes, clean the living room, get the car washed.” Robert Sapolsky

 Many are living at home with their parents, even into their late 20s and early 30s. They often find that the demands of life are greater than any generation prior. Yes, the economy is strengthening, but not everyone finds that “dream position” in terms of employment and financial stability.

Then, there is the fact that we live in a time of immediate gratification. There is little to no waiting period on almost anything. While that can be a great thing, it also means having to deliver results just as quickly which ultimately can be stressful.

Now We’re Stressed Out

According to the American Psychological Association, those who are between the ages of 18 to 35 are more stressed-out than any generation before them. This is why they have become known as “generation stress.”

Unfortunately, there are some legitimate concerns. This generation has to compete in the job market, a market that is no longer limited to those in their specific location.

Now, because of the advancement of technology, the millennial generation finds itself competing with people all across the globe.

Telecommuting enables people to work wherever they live, sometimes making it more difficult for a person to find a job.

This leads to a lot of anxiety, both for men and women, and is driving up the stress levels of the millennial generation.

Millennial Finances 

While this is a major concern, it is only a symptom of the overall issue that is most concerning to the millennial generation – financial concerns. The majority of people graduating from college now have $75,000 or more in student loan debt.

Finding a job is a huge challenge, adding to the stress of having such a large amount of student loan debt. Being in a financial crisis and being unemployed is a recipe for high stress. 

Financial Competition

The Millennials generation experiences increasing competition to do something epic. Your good friend is getting married?

This is a totally a reason to drop $2k in Miami on a bachelorette party right? You’re turning 30? So, of course, you have to rent out the VIP area even if you have to put it on your card and pay it in installments. Wrong! 

Women Are Affected Most By Stress

Sadly, women are more affected by this crisis more than men. It used to be that men were far more stressed than women, but since 2007 the trend has been going the other way.

Women are finding themselves far more stressed psychologically than men are, and this is leading to ill effects for both.

This anxiety can lead to weight gain or loss, decreased physical health, anxiety, depression, and much more. It has even led many women to become unable to carry children because of their stress level.

How To Manage Financial Stress

As always, let’s discuss some solutions. The truth is that the best stress management method is to create a plan to manage that stress.

Creating a plan of what you intend to do with your life is the number one way to decrease stress levels.

Listen, we can go back and forth forever and say is this my golden opportunity? Do I want to stay on this path and receive a degree in this area or take this particular job?

The truth is who knows yet if it is a mistake until you try it out, move up the ladder and see how far you go? 

Many people back out from a career in which they’ve made progress because they are scared. They say ya know what? Let me start on a new path before I finish this one, because maybe it was a mistake. That is a big maybe.

Unless you truly feel with every fiber of your being that you’re meant to go on a new path, stay still!

Slow down and climb the next ladder rung. If you get where you wanted to go in your current path, you’ve established confidence and made some headway, now you can truly say, “Wow I can’t believe I’m established in this field!”, or “Holy crap! this is not for me.”

Set Goals 

A goal can be any objective that you set and push yourself to achieve. Sometimes that goal may be small (like going for a run three days a week) and sometimes it may be larger (like earning a promotion).

Setting attainable goals is also important. Committing to a career path and making progress towards this path, step by step, will help to alleviate stress.

Why not think of a small goal you want to set right now, personal or professional. To make your goal S.M.A.R.T., it needs to conform to the following criteria: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely.

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Specific

What exactly do you want to achieve? The more specific your description, the bigger the chance you’ll get exactly that. S.M.A.R.T. Goal setting clarifies the difference between “I want to be a millionaire” and “I want to get paid a salary fitting for my career area.”

Questions you may ask yourself when setting your goals and objectives are:

• What exactly do I want to achieve?
• Where?
• How?
• When?
• With whom?
• What are the conditions and limitations?
• Why exactly do I want to reach this goal
• What are the possible alternative ways of achieving the same?

The goal must clearly state what is to be achieved, by whom, where, and when it is to be achieved. Sometimes it may even state why that goal is important.

For example, rather than saying “I want to lose weight” you could say “I want to lose ten pounds by this summer”.

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Measurable

Measurable goals mean identifying exactly what it is you will see, hear, and feel when you reach your goal.

Measurable goals mean breaking down goals into measurable elements. You’ll need concrete evidence. For instance, “I want to save $5,000 a year for the next five years.” This can be measured by the dollar amount and  amount of years.

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Attainable

Is your goal attainable? That means investigating whether the goal is realistic for you. So rather than starting with “I will win a Pulitzer,” Maybe the goal can be “I will write five articles in the next month and try to submit one to an online journal within the next three months.”

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Relevant

Is reaching your goal relevant to you? Do you want to run a marathon? Or maybe it is more important for you to focus on getting a job that fits within the degree you obtained.

S.M.A.R.T. goal setting: Timely

Time is money! Make a tentative plan of everything you do. Maintain deadlines and keep them realistic and flexible.

It is not only about making decisions, but it is also about sticking to those decisions.

There is something so settling about creating a plan and sticking with it!

The Takeaway

Make smart decisions about what you want to do with your life, and you will quickly find that your stress levels will decrease and become more manageable.

Will there be a divine certainty from up above telling us we are on the right path?

No, but that would be nice.

Trust yourself and trust that you are moving forward. Sometimes, this is better than staying still or starting new, before you’ve given yourself a chance to succeed.

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Stress Less Fast Guide to Follow Every Day

It may seem like stress will always find you. Like a ghost haunting you that just won’t quit. Millennials are often plagued by an overloaded schedule. It can sometimes feel like you can’t possibly fit all you have to do in one day. These are the thoughts that cause you to feel like you’re too overwhelmed to even start one task because your mind feels out of control. But you have a lot more control than you realize. When you have “go to” strategies, rather than letting your mind wander into a stress spiraling abyss, you will feel more in control. Feeling in control is one of the best feelings in life. It allows you to think more clearly and pursue your daily goals more effectively.  Get control back with this stress less fast guide to follow everyday.

Give Yourself “Small Gains”

You don’t have to only allow yourself to feel accomplished when you do something major. This is especially because doing something big may take a while to achieve. Instead, concentrate on rewarding yourself for small gains. Paid off a credit card bill today? You’re awesome (The annual salary of a millennial today is an estimated 20% lower than the average salary for a baby boomer at the same age, so  paying your credit card bill on time and in full? you rock!) Gave a friend good advice? Pat yourself on the back. Cleaned and organized your room? Amazing! See? Every day look for a little something to allow yourself to feel good about.

Just Say No

Say No to a request that will surely cause extra stress in your life. Maybe someone is asking you to do something you have no interest in doing? Maybe doing this will even take away time you need to accomplish your goals for the day. It doesn’t have to be a blunt No!, but politely say No. Hey, if you want to be helpful and today isn’t the day for it, you can always pick another day to say yes, just not when it inconveniences you. Sometimes disappointing others means disappointing yourself less and if they really care for you they will forgive you.

Learn a Relaxation Exercise

I’ve mentioned this one before. It’s important to have a “toolkit(to follow in a later post).” In other words, at least a few strategies that serve as your “go to” for relieving stress throughout the day. A relaxation exercise to have on hand is definitely one of them. Learn at least one relaxation exercise to have on hand in case you need it. We will get into a list of proven, effective relaxation exercises soon. For now, try taking slow, deep breaths five times when stress is high. Make sure you can hear your breathing. If you are at home, you could also try stopping whatever you are doing, lighting a candle, and practicing clearing your mind while staring at the candle for five minutes. How about ditching the normally recommended relaxation techniques, turning on upbeat music and dancing around your room? A little silliness works every time!

Accept what is not in your control

You are fighting a losing battle if you consistently allow yourself to get fired up about that advice your loved one just won’t take or your boss’s management style that is different from how you would do things. If something occurs throughout the day that stresses you, consider if you actually do have control over this. Then, work on finding the solution. If you realize there is nothing you can do about something that is causing you stress, take a breath and let it go. Remind yourself, “This is not within my control to change.” Letting go of what you cannot control is truly freeing.

Do at least one thing you enjoy

Be sure to do something that gives you pleasure at least once a day. If you like running, make sure you squeeze it in. Maybe it’s just kicking back with a show you’re currently binging on. If it seems like you just have no time for something you enjoy, do what you love even if it is for 15 minutes.

Come on, everyone can squeeze in 15 minutes of anything. Do what you enjoy at your highest time of stress if you can. For example, if work has your stress skyrocketing, take your fifteen-minute break by going for a walk or listening to relaxing music. I would find my “zen place” in the middle of the day, during work, sitting on the NY Post Office steps amidst all the noise and traffic. This is because I chose to block all of that out, soak up the sun and listen to a podcast.

Learn to Let Things Go

This is perhaps one of the most important items on this stress less fast guide. Someone may have wronged you. Does this mean you should let anger eat away at you every time someone does something to anger or offend you? No. You can make the decision to forgive, and most importantly, let it go so your stress does not snowball. If you can accept the fact that people make mistakes you will calm down and also give that person room to forgive you when it is your turn to make a mistake.

So there it is. Consider these strategies to use each and every day to alleviate stress when all else fails or you just can’t think of anything to do to feel calm. You can learn to control the power stress has over you. If you do one thing on this stress less fast guide that makes you feel less stressed each day, pat yourself on the back. If you can accomplish doing more than one, reward yourself!

The post Stress Less Fast Guide to Follow Every Day first appeared on Your guide to stress less.

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