Picture the scene from The Breakfast Club when Bender describes how his parents feel about him. “Stupid, worthless, no good, goddamned, freeloading son-of-a-bitch!” “Retarded, big mouth, know-it-all asshole jerk!” “You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful!”

Is this sounding scarily similar to the way you speak to yourself? For those of you who haven’t seen it,  it’s worth it just to watch their bitchin’ dance moves alone.

Day after day so many people are trapped inside their mind— worrying about what once was, what will be and generally focusing on constant unhappiness and irritability.

What is Negative Thinking?

Negative thoughts, or pessimistic thinking, can prevent you from enjoying experiences. This type of thinking can distract you from focusing on what’s important and drain your energy.

Would you rather stand with a group of people at a party and enjoying a great life experience or be stuck in your head plagued with negative thoughts as if you’re not even there?

Think Positive Most of The Time

Luckily with enough practice and dedication, you can replace negative thinking with positive, healthier thinking. This is often also referred to as optimistic thinking or optimism. This can be life-changing in terms of how you view yourself and the world around you.

Consider the fact that if we do not know the outcome of a situation yet, why would it be best to predict it will go poorly rather than go well? Even further, if we have no evidence of what a person is thinking, why assume they are thinking something negative about you rather than something complimentary?

Erik Giltay of the Psychiatric Center GGZ Delfland  led a study including 999 men and women aged 65 to 85. They completed  a questionnaire on health, self-respect, morale, optimism, and relationships.

 People who described themselves as highly optimistic a decade ago had lower rates of death from cardiovascular disease and lower overall death rates than strong pessimists.

Researchers from Concordia University found that optimists’ stress hormone levels remain more stable in the face of stressful moments compared with pessimists.

Opting to go with the more positive outcome will likely enhance your quality of life along with the duration!

Allow Negative Thinking?

Negative thinking isn’t all bad. There can be an upside to anticipating the worst case possible scenario ahead of time. This could be the mark of a good troubleshooter or even a good leader. However, it is ideal for one’s mental health to try your best to remain as optimistic as humanly possible.

Negatively Think Responsibly 

If your negative thinking feels like an endless loop of gloom and doom, you are not doing yourself any favors. Try your best to find a balance between anticipating how things could go wrong while also allowing yourself to believe there could be a positive outcome. The more effort you put in the more realistic this can become.

Hope for the best but also have a plan B in the case the worst happens. This doesn’t necessarily put you in a negative headspace. “Plan B thinking” allows you to have a sense of control since you have already braced yourself for the worst. This softens the blow and builds resiliency in a person because you are prepared for whatever may come your way.

For instance, let’s say you plan on asking your boss for a raise. If you decide to say to yourself everything will go perfectly and you will definitely get the raise, you haven’t planned ahead what you would say to your boss if he says no. If you allow yourself to think “What if my boss says No,” then you can prepare a counterargument as to why you really feel you deserve a raise.

 Have realistic expectations, rather than taking an all or nothing positive or negative stance when it comes to your thoughts.

We’ve learned that if you think too negatively all the time you will die (too much?). We’ve also learned that allowing room for your mind to negatively think responsibly allows one to plan ahead for all possible outcomes in a situation. 

When negative thinking has served its purpose, ditch it.

Just don’t allow yourself to stay in the negative. When negative thinking has served its purpose, ditch it. Try your best to assume the world around you is a good one, full of possibilities. You can hope for the best by looking for solutions to your problem rather than letting negative thinking paralyze you. 

Always Challenge Overly Negative Thinking

Here are five questions to ask yourself next time negative thoughts take over.  

1. Is there any real-life evidence that comes from this thought or is my mind making negative assumptions about the world around me?
2. Am I able to find something meaningful or productive from this thought or is it just draining me?
3. Is my negative thinking making me think badly about myself and affecting people around me?
4. If I can entertain these negative thoughts, why can’t I make room for positive ones too?
5. What are some other positive and negative ways in which I can view this situation, rather than coming to only one conclusion?

Practice challenging your negative thinking every time you have a negative thought that does not serve any positive purpose. 

Take a negative thought and change it to something encouraging and empowering.

Repeat until you find yourself needing to do it less and less.

With enough practice, you will increase your self-esteem and decrease your stress more and more each day!