Wake up, get kids ready for school, get yourself ready for work, attend four meetings today, sit in traffic, get dinner ready, make sure the kids do their homework, finish work you wanted to do tonight, send out Christmas cards, take kids to doctors appointments and sports games; the list goes on! When stress pushes you to your limit, this is what is called burnout.

This time in history, is perhaps the first time that people all over the world are experiencing burnout at the same time for the same reasons.

COVID‐19 has effects millions of people for different reasons. As a result, it is not surprising burnout has the same widespread effect. Coping with a pandemic can feel scary, overwhelming and endless.

Working at home, not working at all, feeling isolated, and juggling parent life while kids are home, are just some ways in which everyday life has changed.

Identifying burnout and stopping it in it’s tracks in crucial to getting through this pandemic.

What Is Burnout?

 Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by intense, untreated stress.

Burnout is a serious problem, affecting not just your performance, but your self-esteem and personal life.

Over the past 12 years as a licensed mental health counselor, researcher, and skills coach, I’ve helped clients to learn to manage the stress that can cause burnout and to ultimately achieve more peace and productivity. 

Burnout can affect parents, people with demanding jobs, and anyone who is pushes themselves past their breaking point.

Watching people go down the road that inevitably leads to burnout; allowing themselves to feel there is nothing they can do about it is painful.

Burnout Symptoms

If you’re unsure if you’re experiencing burnout, consider these symptoms.

What Can You Do About Burnout?

Burnout is completely preventable when you have the right mindset and tools to combat this mentally and physically depleting condition.

Learn 11 Ways Burnout Can Be Prevented

1. Have An Attitude of Gratitude 

People have complex emotions and often cause themselves unnecessary pain. There, I said it. Recognize what you do have and what is going well for you. Harping on where you want to be, but aren’t, is no way to live. 

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t challenge yourself and reach for the stars. But, make it a point to take strategic moments where you humble yourself to the idea of human suffering. 

Are your strong emotions appropriate considering the circumstances? Or, can you use an emotional intensity adjustment?

In the therapy world, we call this affect being congruent with the content. Are you suffering because you want a life partner or a promotion at work, but don’t have these things yet? No.

These realities are unpleasant and challenging. However, is a person who lives on the streets in the freezing cold with untreated schizophrenia suffering? Likely yes. 

Calibrate your emotional response to situations more appropriately and you’ll find tremendous relief. You’ll develop a better understanding of what really matters in life.

This isn’t to say your issues do not matter. But, if you take a couple of minutes a day to remind yourself what you are grateful for, especially in comparison to how things could be worse, your stress will lessen significantly. 

How To Have An Attitude of Gratitude 

I typically ask my clients in therapy to list 3 things they are grateful for each night before bed. People tend to feel the pressure of worry on their shoulders when they lay their head down to sleep.

Don’t worry about the things you list having to be major; they matter, however big or small if they are important to you.

In fact, we often have more small moments in our everyday lives, we can reflect on than major events.

An example of something big could be gratitude for you and your family’s health. 

Something small could be a moment today in which the sun was shining and you took a long walk and played some good music.

When you choose to focus on what you’re grateful for, rather than setting yourself up for feeling let down, a sense of peace tends to wash over your body and mind.

Humble yourself to the experience of having an attitude of gratitude as often as possible, and you will set yourself free.

2. Fake It Until You Make It 

Exude a persona of positivity and self-confidence, even if you’re not quite there yet.

The more you train yourself to use a positive and encouraging inner dialogue, the more this type of self-talk will become more automatic. 

If I’m a negative thinker, I may find myself thinking about an upcoming job interview in a defeating manner. For instance, I may tell myself “You’re not qualified enough to get this job.” As a result, I’m more likely to stumble on my words and sit on the edge of my seat with anticipatory anxiety.

Instead, what if you commit to a more positive and encouraging statement in response to your self-doubt? Such statements could be, “I have all of the qualifications this position requires.” “I will allow myself to feel confident during this interview.” Now, I’m more likely to take a sigh of relief and feel psyched for this interview. 

The key here is that I may not fully believe this yet, but the more I allow myself to keep answering back to self-doubt, then I’m much more likely to feel confident.

3. Be Decisive To Prevent Burnout

Your goal here is to reduce fatigue caused by the perceived burden of decision-making. The more decisive you are, the more time you free up for completing other tasks. Write down all possible decisions floating around in your head. Now, rank them based on the most important elements. 

Start with working on the most time-sensitive and time-consuming task, so that whatever follows after this is easier and feels less pressured.

Working on your ability to make a decision faster can:

• Reduce mental fatigue.
• Make you more decisive and action-oriented.
• Help you accomplish everyday tasks 

Consider all of your options, and then push yourself to narrow them down to two. Depending on the complexity of the decision, this may sound challenging. 

But, the faster you narrow down your options to one or the other, rather than a long list of options, the faster you will be able to make a choice. This is because there is less mental clutter.

“When choosing between multiple alternatives, people usually focus their attention on the two most promising options. The quicker we do that, the faster we make the decision.” This was the result of Psychologists from the University of Basel’s reported findings on decision-making in the scientific journal Nature Human Behaviour. 

We often know which options we like best, but in a world where there are so many options, we pollute our minds with trying to decide if the other options are more favorable, simply because they are there. 

Take these extraneous options off of the table and focus on two choices. Then, give yourself a deadline for making your decision. Once you establish a set goal, for instance, “I will decide on which two schools to send my child in two weeks,” timeline, then you give yourself an end date to the mental burden.

Create bullet points for what factors are most important in your decision-making process and conduct all the research you can around on the most important factors. 

Once this date approaches, make the decision and decide to stick with it. No wavering, no buts.

If you’ve committed this two week period of time to doing thorough research and establishing the main bullet points that you are looking for within a school, then you did what you set out to do.

Move on, and focus your attention on other things!

4. Have A Self-Care Routine

On January 2019, writer Anne Helen Petersen wrote an essay on BuzzFeed that went viral.  She pioneered the notion of “millennial burnout”—a chronic state of stress and exhaustion that millennials experience as their baseline existence.

This is because millennials have the burden of choice, now more than ever in history, and they sometimes have unattainable expectations for themselves. 

Never underestimate the power of developing a solid self-care routine.

Here are some examples of self-care routines to ward off burnout:

“Every night before bed, I will spend five minutes being alone with my breath and setting the intention to allow myself to feel peace and tranquility.”

“I will prioritize maintaining good hygiene by showering every day and brushing my teeth daily.”

“Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday I will exercise for 25-60 minutes when I wake up.”

“I will silence my phone and set aside at least 15 minutes to be mindful each day.”

Common self-care practices include yoga, mindfulness meditation, relaxation exercises such as progressive muscle relaxation, exercise, getting enough sleep, taking a relaxing bath, or practicing challenging negative thoughts. 

5. Just Say No

There is nothing wrong with helping out friends and family to make their lives easier or saying yes to a work project you’ve been asked to work on.

However, maybe certain people are asking you for more than you’re capable of. Maybe the demands you’re placing on yourself feel constantly suffocating. If this is the case, then you may be saying yes too often. 

Whether you’re saying no to doing a friend or family member a favor or ding anything you do not feel capable of handling, say no to things that will deplete your energy.

If you feel there is something you cannot handle, because you just have nothing left to give in this moment, sometimes you just need to say no. Many times, we say yes at all costs because we believe it will make others happy or make us stand out at work, for instance. 

But, what if you know in your gut that you’re taking on something that you do not feel emotionally capable of handling? Maybe you know you do not have enough strength in the skill set this task requires.

Whatever the reason, if spending your time and energy on something will cost you more than you will gain, just say no.

People will respect that you had the self-confidence and self-awareness to not over commit yourself. 

If they don’t, that is not on you.

Saying no when you’re feeling drained isn’t being a bad person or not doing your job, it’s self-preservation.

The benefits of learning when to say no far outweigh the long term effects of overworking yourself and developing health issues down the line. 

6. Take A Vacation At Home

That doesn’t seem to make sense, does it? With the current state of things, many people are not traveling on vacation. 

Don’t let this make you feel like you’re trapped and helpless.

Escape from everyday stressors with these creative ideas:

Learn things you can do to make life feel more exciting in this article. 

Practice Using Guided Imagery

Guided Imagery is a relaxation technique that includes beautiful natural images accompanied by soothing music to help you relax. It’s a lovely way to escape, especially before bed.

20 Minute Guided Meditation for Reducing Anxiety and Stress–Clear the Clutter to Calm Down 

Ocean Escape (with music): Walk Along the Beach Guided Meditation and Visualization 

10 Min Guided Meditation For Sleep & Relaxation | Fall Asleep Fast With Soothing Rain Sounds  

Travel Virtually To Places Around The World

The term armchair travel has become popular to describe having a virtual experience from home without actually traveling. It provides a sensory experience in which you can explore far away lands without leaving your couch.

From visiting Egyptian sites to virtual deep sea diving insider.com put together an article with links to virtually visit places around the world.

Smithsonian Magazine has made it possible to travel historic artists homes, artwork and more.

Thrillist has comprised a great list, full of links to virtually travel to Japan, Ireland, Chile and more!

Have A Theme Night Based On Past Vacations

You and your partner, or whomever you’re spending time with these days, could pull up pictures from past vacations and look through them. You can tell each other stories about destinations and things that happened on vacation to reminisce about your favorite moments.  

Make an evening out of it by cooking your favorite food items that transport you right back to your favorite vacation destination. 

Hey, it’s not a trip to Italy, but get lost in the evening and allow yourself to feel like you’re escaping for a little while!

7. Practice Good Sleep Hygiene

Consistently getting a good night’s sleep will heal you from the discomfort of burnout.

Most people need eight hours of sleep every night to function optimally during the day. Not getting enough sleep is one of the first signs of burnout. A lack of sleep can cause health issues down the line. 

When you push yourself too far by letting work take away from time you can be sleeping, you will wake up the next day feeling foggy and finding it difficult to concentrate.

This takes away from hitting the “reset button” sleep provides.

Be sure to have a sleep routine so your body and mind prepare for rest and relaxation. Ways you can accomplish this are: 

• meditate before bed
• Practice relaxation strategies for at least 10-15 minutes 3-5 times a week
• Schedule time to let your thoughts pour out
• Have self-care objects that evoke a feeling of relaxation and set the mood that you’re winding down for bed.
• Dim your lights and avoid the use of technology before bed to keep your environment less stimulating.
• Block out light and noise. You can try a white noise machine or even a fan to drown out background noise. Blackout curtains work great for blocking out light from the outside.
• Beware of your daytime habits that could get in the way of sleep. These include alcohol consumption, drinking caffeine late, eating before bed, or drinking too much fluid before bed. 
• If you feel you need extra support essential oils for sleep could be life-changing to activate your bodies natural healing energy.

8. Set Realistic Expectations

One word, calibrate. If you’re looking to start a side hustle, get promoted at work, do yoga four times a week, write a novel (because it’s one of your five passions), then it’s no surprise you will burnout, and fast. 

Focus on one or two hobbies or tasks at a time. If doing yoga, or any other relaxing activity, becomes a chore, scale back. Your time should be sacred, so keeping every action within the realm of possibility and scaling back if necessary is perfectly okay.

This does not mean you’ve failed. Adjusting your expectations of what you can accomplish is attending to self-care and avoiding burnout.

Recognize the symptoms of what could lead to burnout and remind yourself it is okay to take a break from things if they are causing you more stress than good.

9. Resist The Urge To Isolate

Several years ago, I read a book called Schopenhauer’s Porcupines for one of my graduate school courses. 

A group of porcupines is struggling to stay warm on a cold winter’s day. Over time they move closer together to keep each other warm, they poke each other with their quills. In order to stop the pain, they move away, and once again struggle to stay warm. They continue this cycle as they struggle between attempting closeness for some relief and freezing.

People, like porcupines, are in need of close relationships in order to be happy. But, they often struggle with a “shocking prick” when they attempt closeness. Conversely, they feel lonely and “out in the cold” when they attempt to navigate the world alone. 

Leupnitz describes how easily people perpetuate this same dilemma, longing for closeness, but also needing to quickly retreat from it due to the pain. What a beautiful and tragic metaphor. 

Attempting to be exceptional at everything you do and to wear 10 different hats is exhausting. It can often lead to crashing on the couch and feeling like you’ve got nothing left in you to offer anyone. This behavior can lead to loneliness. You may conclude that socializing isn’t “productive.” 

If you think about it, there are likely many times that interaction with friends or family elicits a more positive emotion within you than you had before. We are often trapped with our own thoughts which, if skewed towards negative thinking, can cause a feeling of hopelessness and fatigue. 

Sometimes, interacting with others can re-ignite creativity. This is because they’ve offered a different perspective on your concerns or their company has given you a break from your stress and now you’ve come back with more clarity.  

Never underestimate the powerful benefits of human connection. We all need someone to take the pain away. This is what you can receive when you allow intimacy into your life, despite the pain that may inevitably return as a result.

10. Use These Empowering Statements To Help Avoid Burnout

1. If unforeseen changes occur in my day, I will try my best to adapt to the situation.
2. I can deal with whatever comes my way if I complete one task at a time.
3. When I pay attention to how I’m perceiving things more positively, I leave myself room for a more hopeful outlook.
4. Having to deal with stress will make me stronger and doesn’t have to feel so draining.
5. Each minute, hour, and day is a new opportunity to start fresh and achieve my goals.
6. I will achieve my goals if I meet myself where I am by setting realistic and achievable goals that can always be gradually increased.
7. I will be more focused and clear-headed if I sleep enough, eat well, and exercise as often as I can.
8. If I fail, I will try again, consider if I’m placing realistic demands on myself, and give myself time to recover.
9. I am a strong person who can handle life’s challenges when I am patient and kind to myself.
10. When my emotions go to a negative place, it’s more productive to take a break from what I’m doing than to “power through.”

11. Delegate Responsibility

There is only so much time in a day and energy in our minds and bodies. 

Delegating responsibility to people in your life is essential to avoiding burnout. 

Assign your partner and/or children to do chores around the house regularly.

 Let your boss and coworkers know what you need to effectively work as a team and try not to take everything on yourself. 

Sometimes we can convince ourselves that taking on everything looks good at work, but if you’re feeling frazzled and exhausted day in and day out, a smart employee asks for what they need and asks for help.

At home, giving everyone set tasks, rather than take everything on, sets the precedent that your living lives together and there are certain duties that come along with this.

Your children can help take out the garbage, unload the dishwasher, empty the garbage baskets around the house, set the dinner table, unload the dishwasher, dust, etc.

For children, assigning set tasks makes them feel useful and helps them build life skills they need to live independently.

Teach your children how to do a chore or task the right way and then allow them to improve on that and find their own way.

The Takeaway

Unrelenting stress can cause a person to burnout fast.

However, change your mindset, set a routine for sleep and self-care, and stay connected. These are just some of the strategies you can set your intention towards this year to create a burnout-free lifestyle.

Burnout can be avoided by taking even just small moments to reset your mind and body, using these 11 tips You’ve got this!

There is no-one on this planet who doesn’t judge others.

Having judgments is a natural instinct. A coworker may be walking your way and your mind may autopilot into a judgment such as “I can’t believe he got that haircut.”

Judgments come along with our free-flowing thoughts. It takes effort to control them. What we can control is if we voice these judgments.

It’s one thing if we judge others in our mind, but another if you were to say out loud “Wow, I can’t believe your hair, it looked so much better before.”

Now, how can being judgmental potentially cause stress?

Being judgmental is a form of self-criticism which can make us feel uncomfortable, angry, anxious, and less confident in ourselves.

A study in Mindfulness Magazine found that the participants who rated highest on being nonjudgmental had lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress-related symptoms.

 In the study, both acting with awareness and nonjudgmental thinking were the most important facets in predicting psychological well-being. Let’s take a moment to analyze the effects of behaving judgmentally.

What Happens When You Are Judgmental Toward Yourself?

The judgments we place on ourselves are equally as important as the judgments we place on others.

For instance, if you realize you walked down the wrong block you might say in your head, “No idiot, that’s not where you need to go.” Notice this, (you will because you will feel stress and it may even cause some physical discomfort).

Rephrase this to something like, “Okay Jen, this is not a big deal. You’re not an idiot, you just made a mistake.” You will likely feel calmer instantly and be able to think more clearly.

By the way, I’m a fan of speaking in the third person in your mind (it may sound a bit whacky out loud!) It is much more difficult to feel stressed when you are working on being more kind to yourself and others.

When You Are Judgmental Toward Others

People in your life may laugh off your judgments or act as if they don’t affect them. But, I’m willing to bet you won’t be the first person they call when they are having a stressful day and need a friend. When we constantly judge others it pushes them away. If someone is feeling stressed your judgmental behavior is only adding to their stress.

People can see your judgments

Be aware of your body language and facial expressions. Most of what we communicate to others is actually non-verbal. We do not need to say a thing to convey the message to someone that they are being judged. All they need to see is an eyebrow raise, a snarky smile or an eye roll to know they are being judged. So be aware of what your body is telling others.

You are not special, Judger!

There are some people out there who are from the school of thought, “I say it like it is, it is just who I am.” I call b*llsh*t! No-one should go around saying whatever comes to mind, regardless of how hurtful, unless they are a child. In that case, it is just downright hilarious.

As adults, we know better. We’ve had plenty of time to learn the “Do unto others…” You do not get special privileges just because keeping your judgments in your head may be a little harder for you.

Sure enough, people will like you less. If you ever wonder why other people seem to like your best friend more than you and you don’t get why maybe your judgmental and it makes others uncomfortable.

The Judgmental Bug

Being judgmental is contagious. If this is how you are behaving, others around you will follow suit to some degree.

So you are out with your friends and the overall tone of the night may be scanning the room to make fun of others or talk about a friend who isn’t there. Does that really make you a better you in the end? Will you end your night feeling relaxed and good about yourself?

Don’t judge your judging

The best thing you can do for yourself is to be mindful of your judgments. This means trying to be more aware of these thoughts when they occur.

If you realize you are in fact a particularly judgmental person, the habit will be harder to break, that’s okay.

Once this natural instinct occurs, simply notice it, rephrase the judgmental thought into one that is more positive, and move on with your life.

Also, be sure to give yourself some praise for actually noticing this.

Curb your judgments and you will find that your facial expressions feel much lighter, people around you may be inclined to judge less and you will be inclined to be kinder to yourself. All of these things contribute to less stress. Most of all, keep in mind being judgmental is only a part of who you are.

Try not to confuse being judgmental with being a bad person because we all have judgments.

Perhaps the best part is that when we are less judgmental toward ourselves, we will naturally become less judgmental toward others.

This will likely cause others to want to be around you more. See for yourself. Practice being less judgmental and let me know how the affects your stress level. Work on judging yourself and others less and feel less stressed every day!

You may not realize it, but the words you use every day could indicate how stressed you are. Everyday, we have certain words we either think of or say out loud that “trigger” us to spiral into a state of anxiety. If I say “I’m really stressed out” or “I’m freaking out” or “I’m feeling restless,“ guess what? I just caused panic mode to set in. There are many ways in which we activate our own stress triggers.

The words we use every day about ourselves, especially in the face of anxiety, are triggering our stress. Words are very powerful. Making a conscious effort to adjust what you say when you’re feeling stressed could decrease your stress. After all, you hold the power to decide how you wish to speak to yourself.

LET’S CONSIDER A SCENARIO.

Sam is meeting someone new for the first time. His sister set him up on a date with her boyfriend’s friend, who is supposedly very kind and sweet. He is meeting her at a restaurant tonight. Sam often feels like he is boring and has difficulty holding a conversation. His sister reassures him that he will be fine and he should just be himself.

He responds by asking, “Are you kidding? Being myself will only bore her and make things awkward. I should try to be someone else entirely.” What did Sam just set himself up for? If his anxiety about this date is at a 4 (1 being low anxiety, 10 being the highest), he’s bound to have set it off to a 6-10. How? Through his choice of words.

See, we can feel anxiety, but choose to fight against it and even try to “fake it until we make it.” I’m suggesting simply by what words we allow ourselves to say out loud or allow ourselves to think, we can actually cause ourselves to feel more or less anxious.

If Sam makes a conscious effort to take a deep breath and say something like, “Okay, don’t talk yourself out of having a good time before you even get there man, you’re going to be fine. It’s just a casual date with another human being. My sister said she was really nice.”

What will likely happen now is that speaking to himself in this manner will cause his anxiety to decrease. This is because he was kind and patient with himself, and this will always help decrease stress. By choosing not to “psyche himself out,” he can avoid triggering his anxiety and stop it from wreaking havoc altogether.

Stress Comes From A Past Life

 Certain stress triggers can be quite challenging because they’ve developed over time as a result of past life events. For example, consider if you grew up with a sibling that was constantly belittling you and putting you down. You may have trouble not letting their past influence creep into your future.

Maybe you were in a long-term relationship with someone who had anxiety themselves, but felt ashamed of this. Stress causes you to respond to obstacles with anger and a short-temper, affecting your stress level. This may cause the thought of entering into a new relationship to trigger your anxiety. You may be afraid of the negative impact letting someone into your life could potentially have on your stress level.

Be Aware Of Your Stress Triggers

When you do experience a stress trigger, try to make a conscious effort to be aware of it. Sometimes negative feelings can overcome you and it may not feel like there is an option to hit the pause button.

However, you are more in control of your emotions than you may give yourself credit for. Explore whether or not your stress is rational and based on any facts. If it is just a “what if ____ happens” fear, then remind yourself it is not reality-based. You can often reduce anxiety by simply stopping the trigger from having a snowball effect.

Understandably, this level of awareness can be difficult to practice, but very useful. 

Use Self-Affirmations

Hang positive affirmations on sticky notes around your home and office that say wonderful things about you, your family, or your goals.

With practice, you can make a conscious effort to consider the words you are using, rephrase them or choose not to use them all together. It is possible to manage your stress if you want it enough.

Choose Kinder Words

Sadly, our negative thoughts cause us more pain than we realize. Make the decision to stress less by being kind to yourself. Who knows?, perhaps the words you choose to say to yourself every day could change your life and how you view the world around you. Once you lift that grey, judgmental cloud, beautiful things can happen.

Most stress is caused by our own experiences and view of the world. Recognizing that we create most of our stress and learning how to avoid our stress triggers is an important step towards coping with them.

Be careful not to trigger your own stress. If you do, no worries. Adjust your words to more encouraging, patient words and give yourself the gift of kindness. Don’t you deserve it as much as anyone else?