Excessive worrying can feel like a running dialogue in the background of your mind that won’t turn off. This can affect work, school, home life, and sleep. Managing stress is the best way to worry less.

Why Do We Worry?

Worrying is often a result of fearing the unknown. If there is someone sick that we care about, we worry.

When we think about the future, which is a big question mark, we worry. When we try to figure out what our future will hold, if things will go well, we naturally will worry because it isn’t here yet.

You simply cannot control what has yet to occur, and trying to gain control over what has not happened yet causes you to overthink because we do not have a time machine. 

Worrying about things you can’t control — like the state of the economy or someone else’s behavior — will put you in a state of constant mental fatigue.

You”ll end up feeling like your mind is running a perpetual marathon.

 A 2017 research study by Mattress Firm, surveying 2,000 millennials, revealed that the average millennial spent over four hours a day worrying about something.  

For most people, worry is worse right before bed. That’s when the mind tends to scan the day for positives and, unfortunately, for things we feel unaccomplished, worried about, or have left unfinished.

This is why it’s important to take time before you lay your head down for the night and strategically worry. Yes, intentionally worry for a set amount of time and do this every day.

Can Worrying Be Productive?

The answer is absolutely. When worries are productive, meaning you find a solution, worry can decrease. You can even feel confident and empowered because it doesn’t feel as if worry takes over and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Contrary to this, are worries going round and round in your mind creating more “gloom and doom,” the longer they circulate.  

When someone is a chronic worrier, they overanalyze everything constantly about things in life that they feel cannot be solved or that they feel powerless to. Worry is often based on things in the future.

These are unproductive worries. Over time, worrying can feel like a continuous life-sucking chore. A highly useful strategy to manage these frequent unproductive worries is to schedule worry time.

Worrying can protect you by helping you keep a closer watch of potentially dangerous or problematic situations that otherwise could greatly impact you. 

For example, let’s suppose that you worry about losing your job. How will you rebound from this?

As a result of this worry, you might work harder, appear more friendly and pleasant at work, start applying to new jobs just in case, or make sure you have enough savings.

All of these things are protective factors carried out due to worrying.

How Do We Worry Less Without All Of The Stress?

This is accomplished by having “go-to” relaxation skills and ways to distract yourself under your belt. One of these skills involves inviting worry into your life rather than trying to push it away. Huh? Stay with me.

Real Versus Imagined Worry

The most important question to ask yourself is, are my worries based on reality or are they worry thoughts my mind is conjuring up without any real evidence.

For example, let’s say you’re worrying if you will graduate from college. You party a lot, skip class often, and you don’t always do well on your tests. Should you be worried? Sorry, but yes.

On the other hand, let’s say you are attending classes regularly, you’re on the Dean’s List for the third year in a row, and you balance school and your social life pretty well.

Now, should you be worried? I’d say this is one of those instances where reality-checking will serve you well. 

Consider if there is anything you can do right now, rather than in the future. If there isn’t, try your best to let it go.

More importantly, taking actual steps towards finding solutions to your worries so that you worry less.

SCHEDULE TIME TO WORRY

When it comes down to it, scheduling worry time makes you feel more in control. Your worries aren’t allowed to run around in your mind wreaking havoc. They are going to be there anyway.

This is huge in terms of denying yourself the ability to accept worry as a lifestyle. You are choosing to say “No, worry. Not now” and this is very empowering.

The reality is, if you’re going to worry anyway, because you are not in place in your life where you’ve learned to control your worrying, isn’t it a better idea to only allow worry certain times of the day?

Rather than worrying being your baseline, why not set aside time to worry at two points in the day? 

Designating worry time to a specific time and place, rather than at work, home, and before bed, could help you be more present and put more energy toward the moments that matter most.

By isolating our worries to particular moments, we learn to control when and, most importantly, how much we worry.

Essentially, the goal of worry time is to include it in your day as you would the gym or meeting friends, for example.

How Do I Control My Worrying?

How To Schedule Worry Time

Choose a comfortable, private place where you can carry out your worry time. Somewhere quiet with a chair and desk will do, but never use your bed because this should be your safe space, only used for sleep or relaxation.  

Clear your schedule for the designated time and focus only on this. You are more likely to follow through with scheduled worry time if you write it down or set a reminder on your phone.

 Speaking of phone, silence your cell phone or leave it in another room entirely. In fact, technology should not be in use during this time because it is an unnecessary distraction.

Take a Mini Worry Time Early During The Day: 15 Minutes

Often times, worry can occupy your mind during the day when you need your mind to be functioning optimally. When this occurs, use the time that you take a break, such as one of your 15-minute work break to process these worry thoughts.

This is a good time to gather your thoughts and check in on what matters to you most.

Write it down somewhere or type it so it is out of your head and there for you to come back to when you have the time to seek out a potential solution. 

Solution-focused Worry Time: 30 Minutes

The second worry time will ideally be towards the end of the day where you can worry for 30 minutes straight. Make sure that the time is not too close to bedtime or you may bring those thoughts with you in bed when you should be relaxing and unwinding. 

If you find that you are worrying during other times of the day, take a deep, controlled breath and remind yourself that you have time set aside for worrying.

You will think about this later and you are in control of your thoughts, no-one else. Deny your stress access to your life when you need to be at your best and come back to the present moment. 

Make sure that you do not exceed the 30 minutes you set aside for worry time. It is important to try your best to stay within these parameters. 

Write down all of your worries and stay focused on your worry thoughts. Allow yourself to feel stress at this time.

After a week or two of using worry time, see if you can identify common themes or patterns in your worry thoughts and work on challenging these worry thoughts before they take up too much of your energy. 

Be Strategic and Consistent to Worry Less

Remember, worrying for the sake of worrying is not productive. It does not provide a solution to your problem; it only sucks your energy and makes you less effective.

When you choose to worry a couple of times a day, rather than the entire day, your body can more frequently be in a state of relaxation. Fight or flight mode will lessen and your parasympathetic system can take over.

When you choose to worry strategically, this is when you feel more in control of your life.

When you stop worrying about things you can’t control, you’ll have more time and energy to devote to the things that are within your control.

This is the ultimate confidence booster, because your able to handle more in your everyday life.

Take a deep breath and remind yourself, “Not now stress, you’’ll have your time later…when I say so!”

Do you ever lay down for bed and find yourself restless? You toss and turn, thinking about something that didn’t go well that day. You wish you had better sleep but you don’t know how.

Do you sometimes look at the clock throughout the night, and count down how much sleep you’ll get until you have to wake up?

If this is the true for you, your stress level may be affecting your sleep. It is a well-known fact that people should get about 8 hours of sleep a day.

When you experience stress and you try to turn in for the night, you likely have a battle with the sheets. Tossing, turning, repositioning your body, huffing and puffing.

Sleep Deprivation and Stress

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), only 20 percent of adults say the quality of their sleep is very good or excellent.

Further, adults who sleep fewer than eight hours a night are more likely to report symptoms of stress, such as feeling irritable or angry, than adults who sleep more than eight hours a night (45% versus 32 % of adults).

Poor sleep can have alarming consequences, such as feeling emotional and quick-tempered, experiencing difficulty concentrating and trouble thinking clearly, feeling sad or depressed, and feeling sluggish.

Poor sleep doesn’t only drain your mental capabilities, there are also physical repercussions.

What’s more, a lack of sleep can negatively impact both short and long-term memory, cause weight gain, and put you at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

Back to the connection between stress and sleep. When you don’t get enough sleep, your body releases more of the stress hormone cortisol.

Cortisol should be lower at night. The more nights that go by with higher cortisol levels, the higher the risk for mood changes.

You now know the effects stress can have on your sleep and why sleep is so important, so what can you do about it?

How To Get Better Sleep With Stress

6 Tips For Better Sleep

1. Avoid Caffeine, Nicotine, and Alcohol.

Avoid substances such as caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.

Caffeine is a stimulant that makes it harder for your body to relax. It’s best to have your last caffeinating beverage at least four hours before bed.

Alcohol reduces rapid eye movement (REM) which occurs during dreaming. This is an essential stage for a better sleep.

Avoid drinking alcohol at least 3 hours before bed.

Nicotine is a stimulant as well, so cigarette smokers can easily develop insomnia if they smoke frequently and close to bedtime. Your best bet is to be as natural as possible to avoid stress. 

2. Listen To “white noise” To Decrease Stress and Improve Sleep 

Duet White Noise Machine with Night Light and Wireless Speaker

White noise is far less stimulating before bed than television or browsing social media on your phone.

White noise is “one note,” so to speak. Since we can still hear when we sleep, white noise is an equal amount of frequency that a human being can hear that allows sleep to go uninterrupted. 

A Stanford University study found that listening to relaxing music and sounds serves as a highly effective stress reducer and creates an overall better sleep. 

Using a white noise machine can be helpful to drown out any sudden or sharp noises that might wake you up.

3. Try Using A Natural Sleep Aid For Better Sleep

Many people prefer the idea of natural sleep aids compared to the risks of taking prescription sleep drugs. Melatonin, for instance, is a hormone naturally found in your body, making it perfectly safe to take if you need a boost.

The human brain contains the pineal gland, a gland that produces and releases melatonin. These secretions increase at night, which makes us drowsy. So if they are not occurring naturally as they should be, perhaps try melatonin supplements.

Another helpful natural sleep aid is one containing valerian, which is a type of flower. Valerian has a relaxing effect on the nervous system and promotes relaxation.

Valerian can be ingested as a tablet or you can drink it in a tea.

This natural supplement can even be added to a bath for relaxation. Its sedative effect on the body is surely a good alternative to a potentially addictive medication.

As always, you should check with your doctor before adding even natural sleep aids to your routine as government agencies do not study these supplements conclusively. It is also, good to talk to a doctor so you know if they may not be safe to take with any pre-existing medications.

4. Set Aside “Worry Time” To Avoid Constant Stress

What? Are you actually telling me to worry? Setting worry time has been recommended for years by therapists. Let’s face it, you’re going to worry anyway. Why not do your best to control when?

Scheduling worry time causes you to remind yourself, “Okay, I don’t have to think about it now, I have scheduled the time later.” 

If you’re at work, for instance, reminding yourself there is time carved out later isolates the time you have to worry. This helps you have a better fighting chance at pushing it off, leaving your mind more open to critical thinking and relaxation.

Scheduling this time, especially to address any concerns you may have throughout the day that are unresolved, will decrease the chance of interrupting the potential to get eight hours of sleep.

Try to not schedule worry time right before bed for the potential risk of having a challenging time “shaking off” your worry thoughts.

If worries plague you at night when you are trying to sleep, write them down so that they can leave your head. You’ll feel comforted by knowing you won’t forget to address the matter the next day. Remind yourself there is nothing you can do about it now and that sleep will, in fact, cause less worry.

5. Take A Relaxing Bath For Better Sleep.

 Bathing before going to sleep can be a great way to relieve stress and melt the day away. I know, I know. Some people feel like bathing means soaking in your own filth. So take a 2-minute shower first. Then get out and fill the bath with a relaxing bath product and hot water. Soak for around 20 minutes at least.

If you’re really not a bather, use a relaxation product to lather on you as you shower. Take this well needed time to free your mind and de-stress. Sometimes, the silence causes people to think about their worries.

If this occurs, play some soft music and think about being somewhere truly relaxing and peaceful. This peaceful place could be somewhere like being on a beach or by a waterfall with your favorite person.

Go ahead and create a visually relaxing ambiance by lighting candles.  It is the best place to have some “me time” and relax your mind and body.   

6. Get Out Of Bed

When sleep feel impossible most people tend to lay in bed frustrated and restless. Believe it or not, getting out of bed will help you take a break from your bed feeling like the enemy at the moment.

Do something relaxing and low key.

For instance:

• Read.
• Listen to music.
• Meditate.
• Do relaxation exercises.

Choose tasks that are relaxing so that you can properly wind down and ease into bed more comfortably.

Things To Avoid For Better Sleep

• Using technology (except if it is something calm-inducing such as relaxation music).
• Eating a heavy meal as this will not make you feel restful.
• If you do use technology, do not watch anything violent or sad.
• Trying to get work done as this takes you too far away from “relaxation-mode.”

Cover all bases by having an “anti-stress kit.” Mine contains melatonin pills, relaxing bath products, chamomile tea (caffeine free), a Lavender and chamomile relaxation spray, and anti-stress candles (but do not light right before bed and after you’ve taken a sleep supplement).

This kit covers all of the senses, including taste, sight, touch, smell, and sound. That is, when you add relaxing music or your sound machine into the mix.  Make your own kit according to what works best for you.

Maintain A Structured Sleep Routine

Everyone has a bad night from time to time. Keeping a solid sleep routine all help.

That includes going to bed at around the same time each evening, making your last hour of the day relaxing, keeping your bed for sleep only (not work or entertainment), avoiding caffeine, nicotine and alcohol before bed.

When all else fails, toss those covers off and get out of bed. Take 10 to 15 minutes to do something arduous outside of bed. This could be sit-ups, cleaning something, or a relaxation exercise in a chair such as progressive muscle relaxation. Ideally, you’ll return bed feeling you worn yourself out more and be ready to sleep.

There are natural ways in which you can relieve your stress. Try these strategies and products and sleep like a baby.

You don’t have to struggle every night to have a good night sleep. Getting a more restful sleep will change your life.

I’d love to hear from you. What have you found helps you get a peaceful night’s sleep?