How To Stop Causing Your Own Stress Triggers

You may not realize it, but the words you use every day could indicate how stressed you are. Everyday, we have certain words we either think of or say out loud that “trigger” us to spiral into a state of anxiety. If I say “I’m really stressed out” or “I’m freaking out” or “I’m feeling restless,“ guess what? I just caused panic mode to set in. There are many ways in which we activate our own stress triggers.

The words we use every day about ourselves, especially in the face of anxiety, are triggering our stress. Words are very powerful. Making a conscious effort to adjust what you say when you’re feeling stressed could decrease your stress. After all, you hold the power to decide how you wish to speak to yourself.

LET’S CONSIDER A SCENARIO.

Sam is meeting someone new for the first time. His sister set him up on a date with her boyfriend’s friend, who is supposedly very kind and sweet. He is meeting her at a restaurant tonight. Sam often feels like he is boring and has difficulty holding a conversation. His sister reassures him that he will be fine and he should just be himself.

He responds by asking, “Are you kidding? Being myself will only bore her and make things awkward. I should try to be someone else entirely.” What did Sam just set himself up for? If his anxiety about this date is at a 4 (1 being low anxiety, 10 being the highest), he’s bound to have set it off to a 6-10. How? Through his choice of words.

See, we can feel anxiety, but choose to fight against it and even try to “fake it until we make it.” I’m suggesting simply by what words we allow ourselves to say out loud or allow ourselves to think, we can actually cause ourselves to feel more or less anxious.

If Sam makes a conscious effort to take a deep breath and say something like, “Okay, don’t talk yourself out of having a good time before you even get there man, you’re going to be fine. It’s just a casual date with another human being. My sister said she was really nice.”

What will likely happen now is that speaking to himself in this manner will cause his anxiety to decrease. This is because he was kind and patient with himself, and this will always help decrease stress. By choosing not to “psyche himself out,” he can avoid triggering his anxiety and stop it from wreaking havoc altogether.

Stress Comes From A Past Life

 Certain stress triggers can be quite challenging because they’ve developed over time as a result of past life events. For example, consider if you grew up with a sibling that was constantly belittling you and putting you down. You may have trouble not letting their past influence creep into your future.

Maybe you were in a long-term relationship with someone who had anxiety themselves, but felt ashamed of this. Stress causes you to respond to obstacles with anger and a short-temper, affecting your stress level. This may cause the thought of entering into a new relationship to trigger your anxiety. You may be afraid of the negative impact letting someone into your life could potentially have on your stress level.

Be Aware Of Your Stress Triggers

When you do experience a stress trigger, try to make a conscious effort to be aware of it. Sometimes negative feelings can overcome you and it may not feel like there is an option to hit the pause button.

However, you are more in control of your emotions than you may give yourself credit for. Explore whether or not your stress is rational and based on any facts. If it is just a “what if ____ happens” fear, then remind yourself it is not reality-based. You can often reduce anxiety by simply stopping the trigger from having a snowball effect.

Understandably, this level of awareness can be difficult to practice, but very useful. 

Use Self-Affirmations

Hang positive affirmations on sticky notes around your home and office that say wonderful things about you, your family, or your goals.

With practice, you can make a conscious effort to consider the words you are using, rephrase them or choose not to use them all together. It is possible to manage your stress if you want it enough.

Choose Kinder Words

Sadly, our negative thoughts cause us more pain than we realize. Make the decision to stress less by being kind to yourself. Who knows?, perhaps the words you choose to say to yourself every day could change your life and how you view the world around you. Once you lift that grey, judgmental cloud, beautiful things can happen.

Most stress is caused by our own experiences and view of the world. Recognizing that we create most of our stress and learning how to avoid our stress triggers is an important step towards coping with them.

Be careful not to trigger your own stress. If you do, no worries. Adjust your words to more encouraging, patient words and give yourself the gift of kindness. Don’t you deserve it as much as anyone else?