Chronic stress can make a person do things that do not make them proud. From self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, overeating, relationship issues, or poor sleep, stress can rule your entire world. This is why challenging stress is so important for your overall wellbeing.
Reducing chronic stress can provide a sense of calm and mental clarity, good health, and overall happiness.
So, how can chronic stress be confronted and decreased?
1. Focus On Relaxation Every Day
Unlike doing a load of laundry or food prepping for the week, challenging stress should occur every day.
Stress reduction as a lifestyle is the name of the game, and trust me, you want to win.
Stress causes mental fog and a feeling of helplessness and hopelessness that can even lead to depression. I always tell clients the best “baseline skill” to start with is diaphragmatic breathing.
Focus on your breathing, slow it down, and breathe strategically (yup, that’s a thing). It’s only then that you can focus on overcoming issues you currently face.
Your stress is so real that you tell yourself, there’s no way out of how you feel.
In other words, your emotional response takes away your sense of control. We often think, feel, and act and feel this is an automatic way of thinking that cannot be changed.
Seemingly, there is no other way, but with strategic relaxation exercises, stress relief is well within reach. Challenging stress is a simply matter of having the right tools.
Whether it’s through regularly implementing relaxation exercises into your routine or practicing challenging negative self-talk (hopefully it’s both), you need to focus only on relaxing to move forward and tackle your problems.
2. Rename Stress
Say the word stress out loud or in your head. I bet you feel a little stressed right now! It’s an ugly word, full of discomfort and a lack of control.
Challenging Stress
Challenge: Whenever you find yourself saying “I’m so stressed,” put a dollar in a jar labeled “stress jar.”
Rather than settling with declaring that you are stressed, be sure to replace that statement with something less harmful with a happy ending.
You can say “I’m having a difficult moment and this will pass (notice I say moment not day because it feels a lot less suffocating)” Or “I’m feeling challenged right now, but I know it is only temporary.”
Consider putting that money into a savings account at the end of each month. If you have a lot of money, then you’re struggling a bit to adopt a healthier mindset.
If you have less and less each month than you know you’re working hard at maintaining a healthier mindset for yourself.
You’ll have less money to put into your savings account, but this is one of the only times where this is a good thing!!
3. Accept Your Stress
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), people aged 18-33 years old suffer the highest levels of stress in the nation.
It sounds strange to allow stress into your life, because by now you’re sick of it and it’s annoying AF.
However, the more you analyze, judge, or become frustrated with your stress, the more stressed you will be.
Try your best to normalize your stress and understand that this affliction affects so many others. Maybe then, you can learn to give yourself a break.
It’s kind of like the whole separate but together slogan to increase the feeling of solidarity due to the coronavirus.
There are many people out there just like you.
So, don’t try to hide your stress. Unfortunately, it’s likely pretty obvious to others.
Share your discomfort with those closest to you who you do not feel judged by.
When stress is affecting your social and occupational function, be sure to talk with a therapist.
The more you try to avoid it the more it knocks louder on your front door, demanding your attention.
Accepting stress as a part of your life is a way of challenging stress. This is because you’re not trying to push it away; which becomes exhausting. Your owning it and therefore giving it less power.
4. Take A Moment to Analyze Your Thoughts
As people, we often engage in automatic thinking. Meaning, we don’t think about our thinking, we simply think automatically.
In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article summarizing research on human thoughts per day. According to this study, the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day.
When you think about this, it sounds maddening!
They concluded that 97% of our worries, is not based in fact, but rather they are simply things we worry may happen or have happened.
Many people subscribe to “overthinking.” In the case of what I’m suggesting, this is a good thing.
The real work is when you practice being mindful of what kind of thoughts you’re having. Be it angry, anxious, scared, jealous etc. If you can name your negative thoughts then you can put them under a microscope and challenge them.
I always say to my clients, if you can allow your mind to conjure up the worst-case scenario that hasn’t actually happened, doesn’t it make sense to leave room to challenge your thoughts with a positive potential outcome too?
It’s no surprise, the more time you spend worrying, the more stress you experience.
I’m not going to lie to you, it hurts your brain at times to stop and “think about your thinking.” However, the more you put in the work now, you increase the likelihood of changing your negative automatic thinking into positive thinking.
If you can’t do this entirely (which is nearly impossible), you will have at least decreased the amount of time you spend thinking negatively, feeling lousy, and behaving in ways in which you’re not proud of as a result.
This leaves more room for concentration, focus, and a sense of control. All of these elements are crucial for mental health stability.
Consider these affirmations to silence automatic stressful thoughts when you notice them:
“I will not think about the worst thing that could happen. Instead, I’ll allow myself to focus on the best thing that could happen.”
“This thought is not based in fact. If I have no evidence to say things will go wrong, I will not allow myself to stay in a negative headspace.
“There may be have some evidence to say things have been unpleasant in the past, but I choose to live in the present.”
“I deserve to be calm so I will let negative thoughts slowly wash away with the tide in my mind and make room for positive thoughts.”
“I am not perfect, but I deserve to be happy and I will focus more on the good in my life then the bad.”
If you’re naturally prone to spending most of your time in your head, shouldn’t you work on making it a more peaceful place to spend your time?
5. Consider What’s Missing In Your Life
Stress could be an indication that something needs to be changed in your life.
Maybe you’re missing a partner to share life with, missing out on your career potential because you’re stuck in a dead-end job, or missing having a passion for someone or something that you can call your own, creating a sense of pride.
Stress can be a sign that you are not meeting an important emotional or physical need.
But, emotional needs can be harder to take hold of than physical needs. It can be more challenging to realize we lack the feeling of connected to someone than food, for instance.
So what might stress be causing for you?
What do you need more of in your life?
What’s missing that is causing a feeling of incompletion and causing an ever-present “… “ feeling for you?
Take some time to sit and consider things that make people feel whole. Consistent food, clothing, shelter, financial security, love, a sense of community, a hobby, a skill, a mindset you’re looking for?
Go on a journey of self-discovery and find what’s missing. Grab a piece of paper and see what thoughts you write on the page.
Make life more exciting by searching for what must be found to make you feel whole.
Takeaway
The more we choose to label our stress as challenges, we can step over a puddle, rather than feeling we’re swimming an entire ocean.
What do you do to challenge stress and find inner peace? I’d love to hear your strategies for challenging stress in the comments below.
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Great post! Very well-written.
Being mentally and spiritually at peace means having greater power for the good.
Thank you Aura for your comment, well said and so vital for a happy, healthy life.